Whole30: Day 12 -- I'm So Over This...

For the most part, today was a good day.

Except I hate food. Everything makes me turn up my nose. Everything. Derek and I have sat in the office all evening trying to find recipes for next week and it's fucking hard as hell because almost nothing looks good or sounds good or sounds like a food I actually want to eat. Part of the challenge is that we're looking on websites specifically for Whole30 recipes and everything is fancy and has weird ingredients and just looks...gross. I started looking at some "normal" websites and found a couple recipes that weren't written to be Paleo/Whole30 but ARE, even if it may require slight adjustment.

I'm really over this. I'm barely making it through each of my meals. I kind of dread them now. I know that this is not supposed to be happening. I'm supposed to be gaining a better appreciation for fresh, wholesome food. Instead, I gag.

I'm trying to turn my focus onto making foods that I used to eat fit the Whole30 mold, instead of trying to force myself to try new things. The new things are failing. So for one night next week we're just making burgers. On the grill. Serving with lettuce and tomato and onion and whole30 compliant ketchup and mayonnaise. Because who doesn't love a good burger?

Also, I'm making my favorite pasta sauce recipe, adding some meat to give it protein, and serving it over spaghetti squash. It won't be the same without garlic bread, but at least it's a known quantity.

This is really frustrating. I feel like it's going beyond just being picky... everything is just gross. And it concerns me on many, many levels.

I've got 18 days to go and I absolutely refuse to give up but I am struggling to figure out how to get through this. If I could survive for the next 18 days on cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, I would be very, very happy. But alas.

Derek and I have been having serious conversations about what to do AFTER Whole30. The initial plan was simple -- transition from Whole30 into Paleo. But I feel like Paleo is still just a little too restrictive and want to modify it to be easier to comply with, yet planned out enough that it's not a slippery slope back to the drive-thru line.

We have some time to figure this out but this all scares me.

Anyway. It's late now and ya'll didn't come here to hear me complain. Or... did you?

What I Ate: 
Breakfast: two hard-boiled eggs, orange, nuts
Lunch: leftover chicken & salsa stuff and half an avocado (I didn't make it through all of this)
Dinner: salmon and asparagus that Derek cooked (ate all the asparagus but didn't make it through the salmon)

How I Feel: 
Aside from being nervous about moving forward, and frustrated with my apparent intolerance of the foods we're making, I'm actually feeling good. I'm still tired but my mood was good today overall. Also, TMI, but my... erm... gastrointestinal situation... is closer to normal than it has been in months. So if this stays like this, AWESOME, my first happy side effect of Whole30.

I'm trying to stay positive, I promise! 18 days to go... (one more happy side note: as we were working on our meal plan for next week I was writing down what day of Whole30 each day is, and it was thrilling to write that next Saturday is Day 21.. it seems like it's taking forever but we're getting there! We WILL get through this!)