Today went a heck of a lot better than yesterday did. I made it through caffeine withdrawals and didn't have any headaches today. That alone makes today a win! We stayed on plan, I managed to actually eat my lunch, and we cooked dinner tonight! Hooray!
I was presented with one little challenge, though. My office's "team outing" is scheduled for this Monday. Initially the plan was that we were going to be going to the Newseum, which is a local museum that focuses on, well, the news. It's pretty cool and I've wanted to go for a while. Well, for various reasons, plans have changed and we're no longer going there; the plan now is just to go to lunch together.
ACK.
You see, when we were just going to the Newseum, the understanding was that we were on our own for lunch -- do what we want; there's a cafeteria on site. My plan was to just smuggle some snacks in with me to tide me over and then eat a real meal later, either when I got home or back to the office.
That's a lot harder to do when the outing consists of going to a restaurant.
To top it off, we've been given a list of 5 restaurants to choose our top TWO from. Two of the five have been counted out for me right off the bat because they a) have no healthy options and/or b) are trigger food (one of them is a pizza/sub/milkshake place, one is a barbecue joint).
That leaves three. I'm leaning towards two of them in particular, but I'm nervous about either choice. One of them is like a restaurant/game hall (pool, shuffleboard, darts, etc.), the other is a Mexican place. I've checked out the menus for both of them. They both have salads that could work with very little adaptation (although I would need to bring my own salad dressing with me...) but both present problems. With the first place, I'm not sure what really to expect. Is it gonna be like standard bar food? If so, what do I expect from this salad? A bowl of sloppy iceberg lettuce with a slice of tomato and some carrot shavings? With the Mexican place... three words: chips and salsa. HUGE HUGE HUGE trigger for me (although thankfully I'm not a huge fan of this particular restaurant's salsa, so that may help).
I just don't know what to do. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I can't NOT go... it's our staff outing and I already RSVPed that I would go when I thought we were still going to the Newseum. Not to mention it looks like I'm a bad team player if I am the only one (more or less) not there. Besides, I WANT to be able to be social with my coworkers. Some of them are pretty cool and it'll be nice to get away from my desk for a change.
Le sigh. I have until Thursday to finalize my top two choices. I mean, I guess I know what I'm going to pick, I'm just nervous about whatever ends up being the final decision.
ANYWAY.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: chicken salad (same as yesterday) and about a cup of strawberries. Late morning snack of watermelon.
Lunch: Leftover pulled chicken with salsa, half an avocado and a bucket of Cholula; and a ziploc baggy full of vegetables (cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers).
Dinner: Gambas al ajillo (shrimp with garlic) and a salad with Tessemae's balsamic dressing.
How I Feel:
Better. Still exhausted, but that's a normal thing for me. Had a few moments today like yesterday where the thought of putting my lunch/dinner in my mouth made me sick to my stomach but I got over it. Hunger will do that to a person, I think, lol.
Cravings are pretty fierce right now. Well, not even so much cravings for any particular item, but rather the desire to eat food I'm not supposed to. On the ride home from work, Derek and I took turns naming food we'd rather be eating. I still want a grilled cheese sandwich. Also, we had to stop at the grocery store to pick up the shrimp for dinner and it took all I had to walk past the hot bar and prepared foods section and the smell of fried chicken. I put blinders up and didn't even look at it. Kinda proud of myself for that, actually... but it was hard as hell.
Whole30 has this timeline they put together of the most common feelings/reactions/changes while on Whole30. Day 1 you feel great and proud, Days 2 and 3 you're an exhausted mess.... I'm pretty sure the cravings weren't supposed to come until later, lol. But, I've always been an overachiever. ;)
I've found myself kinda drifting off into hypotheticals of "what if I quit" or "what if we went to Taco Bell" and I know that I won't do it; I know that I want this and I want to succeed, but today is the first time that I've looked at the road ahead of me and thought "Holy crap, 27 more days of this!?!?", whereas before it was like "It's only 30 days... I can do anything for 30 days..."
Le sigh. No one said this would be easy, though. And I owe it to myself to finish, if only because I don't wanna be THAT girl that gets her friends all interested in her progress and then fails miserably. I have too much pride for that.
So, instead, I'll just cross my fingers that maybe tomorrow I'll start craving celery sticks.
(this is me not holding my breath...)
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