First, the nitty gritty. But then, get comfy, cuz it's been a while and I have a LOT to say!
Starting Weight: 290.3/291.3*
Last Weigh-in: 280.3
This Week: 284.3
Net Loss: +4.0
Loss-to-Date: -7.0
Whew. It's been a while, folks. My last post was back in June. I kind of fell off the wagon, as I usually do, when I hit a stride and was losing well. Then, I got lazy, and I got in the mindset of "I deserve a break". Note: I did not deserve a break. I have a long road ahead of me. More on that in a sec.
Before I get started on what's been going on, I should weigh in on this week's number (hahah, get it??). I am honestly thrilled that it's only 284.3. Trust me when I say I have been eating SHIT for a few months -- I expected to at LEAST be back where I started, if not higher. I went to the doctor (more on that in a few) and weighed in at 289 with all my clothes on and shoes and my hair wet. So... I'll take this. To be fair, though, this is our first week weighing in in this house, and weighing in a different place certainly affects the number somehow. But I will take this baseline! :)
Towards the end of June, Derek and I decided we were finally ready to start looking for a house. I had been in that tiny, crappy little apartment since 2006, and we were just... done. The space was too small, things kept falling apart or breaking, we had a bug problem AND a slight mold problem... it was just time to go. (Thankfully, the community structures their leases such that you're only on a lease for the first year and then you're automatically month to month, so we were free to leave whenever we wanted to. That made life very easy!) I got in contact with a friend/former coworker who is now a real estate agent, and we signed on to work with her and her business partner to get us the h-e-double-hockeysticks out of that rathole. We went hunting on July 6th and through some miracle, we found the house of our dreams that same day -- it was the 3rd house we looked at and we put an offer in that same day. Blah, blah, blah, offer accepted, etc., and we closed on August 22nd! Those six weeks were a WHIRLWIND of packing, signing paperwork, and otherwise getting our lives together, and in true Hackley family form, cooking and eating healthfully took a backseat. I can't tell you how many times in the past two months that we've had fast food for dinner... suffice it to say that we quickly found the Checkers and Chick-Fil-A closest to our new home.
Well, then... we moved. And as you can imagine (or may know firsthand), moving is hectic. Between moving, and having people in town for two consecutive weekends for our respective 30th birthdays, and Derek getting sick and not being able to eat any solid food, then not being able to eat anything with fiber, this weekend is the first weekend we've been in our new house that we're just... here. No plans. Just normal weekend responsibilities like cleaning and running errands, etc. It feels divine -- so now we're ready to get back on track with cooking well and eating out almost never.
I've got some ground to make up, clearly. I'm surprised I hadn't gained back more, honestly, so I'll take this. I also fell off my soda-free/caffeine-free wagon, so I'm starting that again too. My consumption of soda this time around hadn't gotten nearly as bad as it had the FIRST time I quit, so this should be a piece of cake. Furthermore, I know I can do it, because I've done it. I'm just trying to get rid of the few cans of soda left we had in the house leftover from the aforementioned birthday parties. Most of it is diet ginger ale, so that's weaning me off the caffeine. I'll get there.
So... remember how a while back I revealed that I'd been struggling with mysterious chest pains? And that I finally went to the doctor about it and she diagnosed me with costochondritis? Well... the pains still haven't gone away. I still have good days where I don't have any pains at all, but I'm still having plenty of bad days. I needed to find a new doctor here near our new home anyway, so I decided to see if maybe costochondritis isn't the culprit after all and see about getting the mystery solved once and for all.
In the meantime, though, I'd been in panic mode again because I'd convinced myself that since it obviously isn't costochondritis, it must be lung cancer. Or something equally life-threatening. I'm so very thankful that Derek is such a patient, patient man. Sheesh.
So I went to the new doctor last Friday, the 20th. I love her, honestly. She was far more thorough than any other doctor I've had, and she asked and answered lots of questions. The practice itself is great, and the urgent care facility is run out of the same office so that is helpful (has already come in handy once -- I'll get to that). She ran a bunch of tests in the office, including an EKG, a breast exam, checking my lungs, taking blood, etc... all to try to figure out what the hell is causing my chest pain. She narrowed it down to costochondritis or gall bladder problems, and told me to schedule an ultrasound, chest xray, and exercise stress test/ECG to confirm, as well as rule out any heart problems. She is pretty confident it's not a heart problem, but better to be safe than sorry, no? (She didn't dig this deep during my appointment, but heart disease/problems run in my family so even better to be prepared).
Well. I had the ultrasound and chest xrays Friday and although I came home relatively confident it was all fine, she called me yesterday afternoon to discuss the results. First, she said, were my blood test results. Everything is fine except that my Vitamin D is low (12 - YIKES! Normal is 30-80) and that my liver enzymes are elevated. Again. If you'll recall from this post, the last time I had a blood test, they were very slightly elevated but not enough to cause her concern. (44, where 40 is normal). This time, they are at 53/60. So, still not incredibly high, but of concern. My chest x-ray was fine.
Well. The ultrasound did not go quite as well. Apparently, I have fatty deposits on my liver and pancreas, and a spot on my left kidney that she said could either be a stone or a fatty lesion. I need to schedule a CT scan to get some more details... Shit just got real. I did some research on each of these (namely fatty liver) and some of the symptoms fit -- fatigue and abdominal discomfort, in particular. None of these really explain the chest pains, so this is just more to worry about. The only real treatment for fatty liver (and presumably the others) is weight loss. So... this is for real now. It's not just about wanting to "feel" better. I actually need to GET better. I'm really scared, ya'll. I keep trying to remind myself that this is reversible, and my doctor said that everything is still functioning well so I'm not in serious, serious danger yet... but... this is scary. I don't want to be a lost cause. I'm 30 years old, not 80. I spent so much time worrying about what this excess weight would do to my heart and blood pressure that I didn't even really consider what it could be doing to my OTHER organs. I need to get real again. My biggest fear though is that this will just be another one of the many times that I've tried to get healthy, do well for a few weeks and then give up again. This honestly petrifies me. All I can keep thinking is that I'm going to turn into my brother -- the one who got diabetes diagnosed way too late, is now in chronic kidney failure and on dialysis three times a week and is blind in one eye. I love him to death and I see how much this has changed his life for the worse and I don't want to be there. I know he has 24 years on me age-wise, and he's a heavy smoker, but still. Genetics and stuff.
So, anyway, we went grocery shopping this morning for all the foods we will need to make delicious, healthy dinners this week. Once we get back in the hang of things, I'm going to slowly try to start cutting my carbs out/down, and then eventually cut back on my meat intake. I don't want to call myself a vegetarian/carb-free/gluten-free/dairy-free/anything-free, because those sound like fads, but I already don't eat much meat as it is. I need to focus on getting more fruits and veggies and other sources of protein, and I need to cut out the bad/simple carbs... I LOVE me some bread and potatoes!
So... I need all the help I can get. Your words of encouragement, my friends, has always helped to make me feel like I really can do this so please don't hesitate to check in on me. I will admit that I really hate it when people push me -- I have a coworker that keeps pushing me to go to the gym with her after work despite the fact that I keep telling her I can't because Derek picks me up and I'm not going to make him wait around for a half hour so that I can walk for a half an hour. However, I am getting myself a new FitBit (the old one has disappeared in the moving shuffle and rather than just wait for it to resurface, I'm buying myself a belated birthday present) and I am going to take this opportunity to start walking more, namely around my new neighborhood, which has an enormous amount of sidewalks and walking paths. It's great! Maybe one day I'll even jog them! :-O
Anyway, I can use your help. Keep the encouragement coming, and the next time any of you see me, make sure I don't have soda or bad food in my hands/mouth. I really gotta do it this time.
Til next time...
