Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Week: 283.7
This Week: 284.1
Net Loss: +0.4
Loss-to-Date: -6.2
Okay, this shit is getting old. Two weeks of gaining in a row. This one was small, and could be explained by a myriad different things, but UGH. I know that last week I said that whatever I see on the scale, I earned it, and that's true this week too, but I am starting to get pissed at myself because I feel like I'm self-sabotaging. I've gotten lax about tracking my food and Points on WeightWatchers, and I'm still sticking my hand in the candy dish more than I should. Yuck.
Valentine's Day wasn't too bad... we went out for sushi, and I stayed away from the usual stuff I get that has the spicy mayo... I did get a spicy crunchy roll, but there was actually very, very little crunchy (which actually kinda pissed me off, dammit, lol), and we got everything with brown rice. It could've been way worse, but it was pretty close to weigh-in.
Add to this that this weekend Derek is off in Ocean City for his bachelor party and this weigh-in was doomed. First of all, I've mentioned before, I hate cooking for myself. Hate it. It's a waste of food, and I feel dumb going through all that effort just for myself. Add to that that I'm pretty bummed about being alone all weekend and sleeping in that big cold empty bed all alone, and I'm making bad decisions. I'd deal with it if it was just this weekend, but Derek's going out of town for work Thursday-Monday too, so I'll be on my own for most of this week too. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he has a group of such awesome friends (all of whom I actually sincerely adore -- they're amazing guys!) that want to do it up big for his bachelor party, and I'm certainly okay with him doing things without me, but... ugh. It's been over a year since we've slept apart. I didn't sleep well at all last night, and I suspect much of the same for the rest of these nights to come. So, being emotional, bored, and unwilling to cook means... bad. Bad things. :-\
On top of that, this coming weekend is MY bachelorette party, and I'm really effing excited about it. I'm going to try to be fairly good but I am not going to ruin my fun trying to find points for everything, and... well... let's just say there will be plenty of alcohol involved. I'm certainly not going to apologize for my "last hurrah", but I know that I will pay for it.
But I can do it. Because this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon, and the end result is too important for me to give up because of a couple bad weeks. I can do this.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a couch to curl up on and hopefully a marathon of Law & Order: SVU to get lost in in hopes that I'll get a decent night's sleep tonight.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Weigh-in, and "Whatever the scale says, you've earned it!"
First, the scoop:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Week: 282.6
This Week: 283.7
Net Loss: +1.1
Loss-to-Date: -6.6
Okay, sure, I'm bummed. But as the title states, I earned this fair and square. First, I was coming off my cycle, so I expected this. I had a weekend full of not-so-great choices and then good choices that I should've eaten less of... we went out to dinner on Monday to celebrate/mourn a friend's new job (said job is going to relocate said friend to Richmond, two hours away from us), and all week I've just had a tough time staying on track, which I mentioned earlier in my stressed out post. Honestly, I'm surprised it wasn't more than this. I'll take it, and live with it, and learn from it. This week will be challenging (as I'll mention below) but we're going to be doing a lot of walking around this weekend trying to get some wedding stuff taken care of, so hopefully I can undo some of this without much pain and heartbreak. :)
Although Derek and I did get a little off track in the beginning of the week, we made up for it by the end of the week. Perhaps just a little too late. Several weeks ago I went a little crazy on a trip to Barnes & Noble and bought five (yes, 5!) new healthy-recipe cookbooks. All of them looked to be chock-full of delicious recipes and I figured that if I had a huge arsenal of tasty recipes, I couldn't get bored with cooking healthy and go back to cooking crap. So far, it has worked. My favorite of all these cookbooks so far is Cooking Light - Complete Meals in Minutes. It's full of recipes that look like food I would've cooked long before I was on a health kick, and none of them take more than 30 minutes. Most of the ones we've had so far have been 15 minute recipes, which is awesome, and there hasn't been one we haven't liked. I definitely recommend this book! Most of the other books we bought were Cooking Light books, and the same goes for them -- good recipes, quick recipes, and I can trust that I'm not salting or fatting myself to death.
The stress situation has come down a little bit -- I've resolved most of the issues that had come up earlier in the week. I'm still frazzled, as anyone could guess, judging by the fact that my wedding is now literally FIVE weeks away. So much to do, so little time, yadda yadda yadda.
This week, I have two challenges: 1) this coming weekend (President's Day weekend) is Derek's bachelor party, and as a result I'll be on my own all weekend. This could be bad, or this could be good. On one hand, I could choose to be totally lazy and stay in my pajamas just about all weekend and nibble on whatever's in the house... on the other hand I could be totally lazy and decide to order all of my dinners in, and then on a third, mystery hand, I could call my local friends and beg them to go out with me so I don't have to rattle around in my tiny little shoebox all by myself. My second challenge is going to be Valentine's Day. First I have to say that I hate this dumb holiday, even now that I have Derek, but still for some reason feel compelled to celebrate it. So, we're going out to dinner... two days before weigh-in. Haven't decided where yet but I'm hoping beyond all hope that we can pick something sensible. Anyway, my real challenge is that I have the overwhelming urge to bake something... something red and chocolatey and maybe cheesecakey and of course, delicious. I'm challenging myself to find a recipe that won't break my calorie bank, and then to not eat more of it than I should. On top of that, my boss has proclaimed that she's bringing a box of Valentine's donuts from Dunkin Donuts to work on Thursday, and I'm determined to allot myself the points for them because I've been craving a donut for weeks now and haven't caved. I will do it. I can do it. That's the point of WeightWatchers. To not have to say no to what you want, but to be compelled instead to make better choices to make up for it. I'll keep you posted on the results!
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Week: 282.6
This Week: 283.7
Net Loss: +1.1
Loss-to-Date: -6.6
Okay, sure, I'm bummed. But as the title states, I earned this fair and square. First, I was coming off my cycle, so I expected this. I had a weekend full of not-so-great choices and then good choices that I should've eaten less of... we went out to dinner on Monday to celebrate/mourn a friend's new job (said job is going to relocate said friend to Richmond, two hours away from us), and all week I've just had a tough time staying on track, which I mentioned earlier in my stressed out post. Honestly, I'm surprised it wasn't more than this. I'll take it, and live with it, and learn from it. This week will be challenging (as I'll mention below) but we're going to be doing a lot of walking around this weekend trying to get some wedding stuff taken care of, so hopefully I can undo some of this without much pain and heartbreak. :)
Although Derek and I did get a little off track in the beginning of the week, we made up for it by the end of the week. Perhaps just a little too late. Several weeks ago I went a little crazy on a trip to Barnes & Noble and bought five (yes, 5!) new healthy-recipe cookbooks. All of them looked to be chock-full of delicious recipes and I figured that if I had a huge arsenal of tasty recipes, I couldn't get bored with cooking healthy and go back to cooking crap. So far, it has worked. My favorite of all these cookbooks so far is Cooking Light - Complete Meals in Minutes. It's full of recipes that look like food I would've cooked long before I was on a health kick, and none of them take more than 30 minutes. Most of the ones we've had so far have been 15 minute recipes, which is awesome, and there hasn't been one we haven't liked. I definitely recommend this book! Most of the other books we bought were Cooking Light books, and the same goes for them -- good recipes, quick recipes, and I can trust that I'm not salting or fatting myself to death.
The stress situation has come down a little bit -- I've resolved most of the issues that had come up earlier in the week. I'm still frazzled, as anyone could guess, judging by the fact that my wedding is now literally FIVE weeks away. So much to do, so little time, yadda yadda yadda.
This week, I have two challenges: 1) this coming weekend (President's Day weekend) is Derek's bachelor party, and as a result I'll be on my own all weekend. This could be bad, or this could be good. On one hand, I could choose to be totally lazy and stay in my pajamas just about all weekend and nibble on whatever's in the house... on the other hand I could be totally lazy and decide to order all of my dinners in, and then on a third, mystery hand, I could call my local friends and beg them to go out with me so I don't have to rattle around in my tiny little shoebox all by myself. My second challenge is going to be Valentine's Day. First I have to say that I hate this dumb holiday, even now that I have Derek, but still for some reason feel compelled to celebrate it. So, we're going out to dinner... two days before weigh-in. Haven't decided where yet but I'm hoping beyond all hope that we can pick something sensible. Anyway, my real challenge is that I have the overwhelming urge to bake something... something red and chocolatey and maybe cheesecakey and of course, delicious. I'm challenging myself to find a recipe that won't break my calorie bank, and then to not eat more of it than I should. On top of that, my boss has proclaimed that she's bringing a box of Valentine's donuts from Dunkin Donuts to work on Thursday, and I'm determined to allot myself the points for them because I've been craving a donut for weeks now and haven't caved. I will do it. I can do it. That's the point of WeightWatchers. To not have to say no to what you want, but to be compelled instead to make better choices to make up for it. I'll keep you posted on the results!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Stress and the Emotional Eater
So, my plan had been to keep this blog solely focused on my weight loss efforts and my attempt to get healthy. I was trying to avoid mixing in the rest of my mostly-boring life. But now, things are commingling and I've gotta get it off my chest.
My wedding. It's in five and a half weeks. 38 days. Holy mother of... and with this quickly-dwindling timeframe comes tons of stress. Stress that I fear is going to set me back a bit on my weight loss goals.
Let's start at the top of the list of things that are stressing me out:
Yesterday, at my second dress fitting, the zipper on my dress broke. BROKE. Luckily, it was a relatively easy fix (my seamstress said that it looked like it just got pulled down too low and then got itself off track -- she swears it's not compromised and will be fine), but I'm still mega paranoid that the day of, when I try to get my dress zipped up, it's going to pop again and I'm going to have to be sewn in. I don't even WANT to know how that works. Or, for that matter, how the hell I'd get out of it later (when I don't have a swarm of bridesmaids regulating that shit).
Then, we realize that while the hemming she did (luckily the only thing that needed to be done on my perfect-fit gown) was perfect when I'm standing straight up...when I walk, I lean forward a little bit, which causes my dress to graze the floor in the front, which causes me to frickin' trip over it. Not a problem during the reception because I can just hold it up -- no biggie, but uh... I can't hold my dress up to walk down the aisle AND hold my bouquet and both my brothers (the latter are going to be hard enough as it is). I have this mental image of taking like three steps, tripping on my dress and either ripping it or falling flat on my face, busting my lip, and bleeding through the ceremony. Oh god, I'm gonna cry. So now, the plan is that I need to find shoes that are slightly higher than the flats I'd planned to wear... well, they don't make flats with like, a 1/2" heel, because then they're not flats. So the next best thing is kitten heels. I CAN'T WALK IN HEELS. I repeat: I CAN'T WALK IN HEELS. So either way, I'm screwed. Omgomgomgomg breeeeeeeeathe.
On top of all this, my poor little ring bearer, who is quite possibly the coolest 7 year old that I've ever known, fell while climbing a tree this past weekend and broke his arm. Like literally, broken, straight through. Had to have surgery to put pins in to set it. Poor kid!! His momma (one of the bridesmaids) told me that he'd be walking down the aisle with a cast on, which of course doesn't bother me at all but now my gears are turning about whether or not he'll be able to get his arm in his tux jacket. Of all things to worry about, Sarah. Really? REALLY. UGH.
Oh, and I can't figure out what is going to be my 'something old'. I don't have any old stuff. WTH. What happens if you don't have all of the old/new/borrowed/blue crap? Is my marriage destined to fail because I was only 75% compliant? Ack.
Aside from that, there's just the regular stress that comes with being such a short period of time away from the biggest, most important, most amazing day of my life. And the inherent panic attack that comes when you are me and you can't help but think, rethink, overthink, and think again about everything.
AND... as if this wasn't all enough... my face is breaking out again. Bad. A while back... probably about a year or so ago, my cheeks started breaking out. I've never ever ever had acne problems... it was the one thing I had going for me. My teeth are crooked and I'm fat and I wear glasses, but at least I had clear skin, right? Nope. Here I am in my late 20s buying every acne treatment product that CVS has to offer... to no avail. It finally started to go away (though I was still left with red marks on my face), but now it's coming back. Of course. I hope like hell that the angel that is doing my makeup for the wedding has experience in miracle working. WHYYYYYYYY?
So. Why do I bring this up here, in my get-healthy blog? Because when I get stressed out, I eat. Saturday and Sunday were a wreck (mostly Sunday because of Super Bowl food -- hate to see what it would've been like if I hadn't made 'skinny' recipes!)... Monday, we woke up too late to make lunch so we had to buy, which I haven't done in a while. I got Subway, which wasn't bad, but I got chips (baked, at least), which I never do. We still have Christmas candy in the house and I'd been doing a stellar job of ignoring its existence, but so far this week I keep picking at it. Stupid little almond Hershey kisses are going to ruin my life!
I need a break. I need to be done. I need to be married and not be planning a wedding anymore. I'm just starting to get in the groove of losing weight consistently. I can't afford to screw that up now! :(
How do you all de-stress without turning to food?
My wedding. It's in five and a half weeks. 38 days. Holy mother of... and with this quickly-dwindling timeframe comes tons of stress. Stress that I fear is going to set me back a bit on my weight loss goals.
Let's start at the top of the list of things that are stressing me out:
Yesterday, at my second dress fitting, the zipper on my dress broke. BROKE. Luckily, it was a relatively easy fix (my seamstress said that it looked like it just got pulled down too low and then got itself off track -- she swears it's not compromised and will be fine), but I'm still mega paranoid that the day of, when I try to get my dress zipped up, it's going to pop again and I'm going to have to be sewn in. I don't even WANT to know how that works. Or, for that matter, how the hell I'd get out of it later (when I don't have a swarm of bridesmaids regulating that shit).
Then, we realize that while the hemming she did (luckily the only thing that needed to be done on my perfect-fit gown) was perfect when I'm standing straight up...when I walk, I lean forward a little bit, which causes my dress to graze the floor in the front, which causes me to frickin' trip over it. Not a problem during the reception because I can just hold it up -- no biggie, but uh... I can't hold my dress up to walk down the aisle AND hold my bouquet and both my brothers (the latter are going to be hard enough as it is). I have this mental image of taking like three steps, tripping on my dress and either ripping it or falling flat on my face, busting my lip, and bleeding through the ceremony. Oh god, I'm gonna cry. So now, the plan is that I need to find shoes that are slightly higher than the flats I'd planned to wear... well, they don't make flats with like, a 1/2" heel, because then they're not flats. So the next best thing is kitten heels. I CAN'T WALK IN HEELS. I repeat: I CAN'T WALK IN HEELS. So either way, I'm screwed. Omgomgomgomg breeeeeeeeathe.
On top of all this, my poor little ring bearer, who is quite possibly the coolest 7 year old that I've ever known, fell while climbing a tree this past weekend and broke his arm. Like literally, broken, straight through. Had to have surgery to put pins in to set it. Poor kid!! His momma (one of the bridesmaids) told me that he'd be walking down the aisle with a cast on, which of course doesn't bother me at all but now my gears are turning about whether or not he'll be able to get his arm in his tux jacket. Of all things to worry about, Sarah. Really? REALLY. UGH.
Oh, and I can't figure out what is going to be my 'something old'. I don't have any old stuff. WTH. What happens if you don't have all of the old/new/borrowed/blue crap? Is my marriage destined to fail because I was only 75% compliant? Ack.
Aside from that, there's just the regular stress that comes with being such a short period of time away from the biggest, most important, most amazing day of my life. And the inherent panic attack that comes when you are me and you can't help but think, rethink, overthink, and think again about everything.
AND... as if this wasn't all enough... my face is breaking out again. Bad. A while back... probably about a year or so ago, my cheeks started breaking out. I've never ever ever had acne problems... it was the one thing I had going for me. My teeth are crooked and I'm fat and I wear glasses, but at least I had clear skin, right? Nope. Here I am in my late 20s buying every acne treatment product that CVS has to offer... to no avail. It finally started to go away (though I was still left with red marks on my face), but now it's coming back. Of course. I hope like hell that the angel that is doing my makeup for the wedding has experience in miracle working. WHYYYYYYYY?
So. Why do I bring this up here, in my get-healthy blog? Because when I get stressed out, I eat. Saturday and Sunday were a wreck (mostly Sunday because of Super Bowl food -- hate to see what it would've been like if I hadn't made 'skinny' recipes!)... Monday, we woke up too late to make lunch so we had to buy, which I haven't done in a while. I got Subway, which wasn't bad, but I got chips (baked, at least), which I never do. We still have Christmas candy in the house and I'd been doing a stellar job of ignoring its existence, but so far this week I keep picking at it. Stupid little almond Hershey kisses are going to ruin my life!
I need a break. I need to be done. I need to be married and not be planning a wedding anymore. I'm just starting to get in the groove of losing weight consistently. I can't afford to screw that up now! :(
How do you all de-stress without turning to food?
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Weigh-in and WTF am I thinking?
So, first, the important stuff:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Week: 285.8
This Week: 282.6
Net Loss: -3.2
Loss-to-Date: -7.7
YAY. Had a really good week food-wise and it showed on the scale. Huzzah! I was nervous because Derek and I had our date night dinner out last night instead of tonight because the meat we were going to cook wasn't thawed. I kept telling Derek I didn't want to ruin weigh-in, and thankfully, I didn't. Although I'm curious now what that number would've been if we hadn't gone out! We went to Bonefish Grill -- I made good, delicious choices for the most part (though I did have part of a cup of corn chowder and a small piece of bread) and I guzzled water, so I got full quicker. Other than last night, we ate in all week, with the exception being last Saturday, our "cheat" day. I made some less-than-awesome choices but I worked hard to recover from them. I really needed this number after last week's dud of a loss. I'm on my cycle again (sorry, TMI, but relevant), so I was expecting the number to suck. I'm expecting it to suck next week for real, though, because it did on my last cycle. We shall see!
In other news, I think my sanity has sprung a leak. Derek and I have been talking and I think... wait for it... we're going to try the Couch to 5k program. WHAT!? (I know that's what you're all thinking because that's what I hear in my head everytime I vocalize or otherwise express this idea.)
Couch to 5k is a program that is like, 9 weeks (or as long as you want it to be), and is designed to take people from being non-runners, to being able to run, well, a 5k -- 3.2 miles. And we're going to try it. AND IT WAS MY IDEA. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU THINKING? (Sorry, that was my inner voice talking again...)
I don't honestly know what compelled me to utter the words "let's try this". I've always been of the school of thought that you only run when something is chasing you. I hate running. HATE. Even when I was less...erm... portly, I still hated it. What the heck is the point? Aside from that, it always made me feel like shit. So why on earth would I want to do it?
Well... for one thing, my nurse practitioner prescribed me an inhaler so that I could attempt this whole running thing without my lungs trying to rip themselves out of my chest. I have to admit that's made me actually curious to see if it works. For another thing, I've run out of ideas of ways that I can be more active that a) don't require me to go to the gym and b) don't cost money. Aside from the "startup" costs of appropriate running shoes, this won't cost anything. And, I've heard people talking about C25k for years and I'm finally thinking that now's the time to try something like this. There's a cool iPhone app for it, where you can integrate your music and while you're walking/running, it gives you verbal cues when your minute(s) are up, so you don't have to have your eyes on a watch (I'm a class-A clutz -- do we really trust me to run while taking my eyes off the road ahead of me? HAH!). C25k seems about as beginner as you can get, and the app is designed so that even though it's broken down into like 9 weeks, you can stay on any of those weeks for as long as you want. So, if after week 1, I still can't manage to run for 90 seconds at a time, then I can keep trying the next week. Honestly, I think it'll take me even longer than that. Aside from all that, I've been obsessed with upping my step count on my FitBit, so that's motivation as well.
Either way, this is a huge step for me. Derek and I haven't really discussed specifics yet.. it's too cold to do this outside right now, and I have a really huge phobia of running on a treadmill (what? I told you I'm a class-A clutz!). We're also trying not to lose our minds with wedding planning, so adding more to our plate is not very enticing. We'll see! Wish us luck! :)
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Week: 285.8
This Week: 282.6
Net Loss: -3.2
Loss-to-Date: -7.7
YAY. Had a really good week food-wise and it showed on the scale. Huzzah! I was nervous because Derek and I had our date night dinner out last night instead of tonight because the meat we were going to cook wasn't thawed. I kept telling Derek I didn't want to ruin weigh-in, and thankfully, I didn't. Although I'm curious now what that number would've been if we hadn't gone out! We went to Bonefish Grill -- I made good, delicious choices for the most part (though I did have part of a cup of corn chowder and a small piece of bread) and I guzzled water, so I got full quicker. Other than last night, we ate in all week, with the exception being last Saturday, our "cheat" day. I made some less-than-awesome choices but I worked hard to recover from them. I really needed this number after last week's dud of a loss. I'm on my cycle again (sorry, TMI, but relevant), so I was expecting the number to suck. I'm expecting it to suck next week for real, though, because it did on my last cycle. We shall see!
In other news, I think my sanity has sprung a leak. Derek and I have been talking and I think... wait for it... we're going to try the Couch to 5k program. WHAT!? (I know that's what you're all thinking because that's what I hear in my head everytime I vocalize or otherwise express this idea.)
Couch to 5k is a program that is like, 9 weeks (or as long as you want it to be), and is designed to take people from being non-runners, to being able to run, well, a 5k -- 3.2 miles. And we're going to try it. AND IT WAS MY IDEA. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU THINKING? (Sorry, that was my inner voice talking again...)
I don't honestly know what compelled me to utter the words "let's try this". I've always been of the school of thought that you only run when something is chasing you. I hate running. HATE. Even when I was less...erm... portly, I still hated it. What the heck is the point? Aside from that, it always made me feel like shit. So why on earth would I want to do it?
Well... for one thing, my nurse practitioner prescribed me an inhaler so that I could attempt this whole running thing without my lungs trying to rip themselves out of my chest. I have to admit that's made me actually curious to see if it works. For another thing, I've run out of ideas of ways that I can be more active that a) don't require me to go to the gym and b) don't cost money. Aside from the "startup" costs of appropriate running shoes, this won't cost anything. And, I've heard people talking about C25k for years and I'm finally thinking that now's the time to try something like this. There's a cool iPhone app for it, where you can integrate your music and while you're walking/running, it gives you verbal cues when your minute(s) are up, so you don't have to have your eyes on a watch (I'm a class-A clutz -- do we really trust me to run while taking my eyes off the road ahead of me? HAH!). C25k seems about as beginner as you can get, and the app is designed so that even though it's broken down into like 9 weeks, you can stay on any of those weeks for as long as you want. So, if after week 1, I still can't manage to run for 90 seconds at a time, then I can keep trying the next week. Honestly, I think it'll take me even longer than that. Aside from all that, I've been obsessed with upping my step count on my FitBit, so that's motivation as well.
Either way, this is a huge step for me. Derek and I haven't really discussed specifics yet.. it's too cold to do this outside right now, and I have a really huge phobia of running on a treadmill (what? I told you I'm a class-A clutz!). We're also trying not to lose our minds with wedding planning, so adding more to our plate is not very enticing. We'll see! Wish us luck! :)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)