For the most part, today was a good day.
Except I hate food. Everything makes me turn up my nose. Everything. Derek and I have sat in the office all evening trying to find recipes for next week and it's fucking hard as hell because almost nothing looks good or sounds good or sounds like a food I actually want to eat. Part of the challenge is that we're looking on websites specifically for Whole30 recipes and everything is fancy and has weird ingredients and just looks...gross. I started looking at some "normal" websites and found a couple recipes that weren't written to be Paleo/Whole30 but ARE, even if it may require slight adjustment.
I'm really over this. I'm barely making it through each of my meals. I kind of dread them now. I know that this is not supposed to be happening. I'm supposed to be gaining a better appreciation for fresh, wholesome food. Instead, I gag.
I'm trying to turn my focus onto making foods that I used to eat fit the Whole30 mold, instead of trying to force myself to try new things. The new things are failing. So for one night next week we're just making burgers. On the grill. Serving with lettuce and tomato and onion and whole30 compliant ketchup and mayonnaise. Because who doesn't love a good burger?
Also, I'm making my favorite pasta sauce recipe, adding some meat to give it protein, and serving it over spaghetti squash. It won't be the same without garlic bread, but at least it's a known quantity.
This is really frustrating. I feel like it's going beyond just being picky... everything is just gross. And it concerns me on many, many levels.
I've got 18 days to go and I absolutely refuse to give up but I am struggling to figure out how to get through this. If I could survive for the next 18 days on cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, I would be very, very happy. But alas.
Derek and I have been having serious conversations about what to do AFTER Whole30. The initial plan was simple -- transition from Whole30 into Paleo. But I feel like Paleo is still just a little too restrictive and want to modify it to be easier to comply with, yet planned out enough that it's not a slippery slope back to the drive-thru line.
We have some time to figure this out but this all scares me.
Anyway. It's late now and ya'll didn't come here to hear me complain. Or... did you?
What I Ate:
Breakfast: two hard-boiled eggs, orange, nuts
Lunch: leftover chicken & salsa stuff and half an avocado (I didn't make it through all of this)
Dinner: salmon and asparagus that Derek cooked (ate all the asparagus but didn't make it through the salmon)
How I Feel:
Aside from being nervous about moving forward, and frustrated with my apparent intolerance of the foods we're making, I'm actually feeling good. I'm still tired but my mood was good today overall. Also, TMI, but my... erm... gastrointestinal situation... is closer to normal than it has been in months. So if this stays like this, AWESOME, my first happy side effect of Whole30.
I'm trying to stay positive, I promise! 18 days to go... (one more happy side note: as we were working on our meal plan for next week I was writing down what day of Whole30 each day is, and it was thrilling to write that next Saturday is Day 21.. it seems like it's taking forever but we're getting there! We WILL get through this!)
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Whole30: Day 11 -- Kind of Over the Hump? Or _A_ Hump?
Today was okay.
Here's my problem:
I'm sick of my healthy food. I am 95% sure it's just what we're preparing and how, but everything either tastes bad or like nothing, and the textures of everything are driving me batty. Specifically protein. And... we're rotating recipes and I'm already bored. This is causing me to skimp on meals which I know is not good. Thankfully, it's not really causing any hunger pangs or anything, so I think I'm still eating enough to subsist on (because hey, I'm a fat kid -- if I get hungry enough, I'll eat anything...) but.. bleh.
Today for dinner we had the pulled chicken and salsa stuff with avocado and I could barely get through half. Derek had to tell me to stop eating because every bite was making me gag. I felt bad but I just couldn't do it.
I miss... sauces. And crispiness. Cooked healthy food doesn't have crispiness. I've been noshing the hell out of raw cucumbers and carrots and peppers and nuts. Why? Crispy crunchy yumminess. Everything else?
Mush.
I am a big fan of having a variety of flavors on my plate. Whenever I go to Subway, for example, I get like a zillion of the veggies. I like the variety of flavor. It's why buffets are a gigantic no-no for me -- cuz there's a lot of things I want to try and even a little bit of all of them is way too much food. It's why bad food in general is a bad idea for me because I always want something else to go with my meal. I'm trying to get over it, but it's hard. But the majority of the meals we've had on Whole30 have been simple and boring and blah and it's kind of making me crazy. I like that the stuff we're making isn't totally a challenge and that it has been easy to accomplish this stuff in a short amount of time (especially with prepping on Sundays), but I'm so. bored.
But I'm not giving up. Which is what the timeline says frequently happens. The Whole30 "timeline", which gives a general idea of what to expect at each stage of the 30 days, says that most people quit around days 10-11. I MADE IT! WOOT.
I do need to make clear that with all this complaining, I'm still planning on staying the course. I guess I just see this blog as my opportunity to let it out so that I can brush it off and put my big girl pants back on and get back to work.
I just... would love to find some foods to eat that whet my appetite the way some of the bad foods do. And MAN do I want a sandwich!
Anyway.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Two hard-boiled eggs, an orange, cherry tomatoes and some nuts.
Lunch: Leftover taco burger salad, cucumber slices, pepper slices, carrots
Dinner: Chicken mush; aka pulled chicken & salsa with avocado.
How I Feel:
Not terrible. My eyelids are maybe slightly less heavy today than they usually are? I didn't sleep well last night so probably not a fair call. Aside from my eyes feeling tired I don't feel quite as physically tired as I usually do, I think.
I do feel a little discouraged as a result of the food boredom. I feel like everyone talks about how great all this fresh, healthy food tastes and I'm just sitting here trying not to gag on a piece of chicken (which you'll note happened to me with yesterday's lunch too). I know I need to just spice up the menu (literally and figuratively) but I thought I'd be appreciating the healthy yumminess more.
Onward and upward, though!
Here's my problem:
I'm sick of my healthy food. I am 95% sure it's just what we're preparing and how, but everything either tastes bad or like nothing, and the textures of everything are driving me batty. Specifically protein. And... we're rotating recipes and I'm already bored. This is causing me to skimp on meals which I know is not good. Thankfully, it's not really causing any hunger pangs or anything, so I think I'm still eating enough to subsist on (because hey, I'm a fat kid -- if I get hungry enough, I'll eat anything...) but.. bleh.
Today for dinner we had the pulled chicken and salsa stuff with avocado and I could barely get through half. Derek had to tell me to stop eating because every bite was making me gag. I felt bad but I just couldn't do it.
I miss... sauces. And crispiness. Cooked healthy food doesn't have crispiness. I've been noshing the hell out of raw cucumbers and carrots and peppers and nuts. Why? Crispy crunchy yumminess. Everything else?
Mush.
I am a big fan of having a variety of flavors on my plate. Whenever I go to Subway, for example, I get like a zillion of the veggies. I like the variety of flavor. It's why buffets are a gigantic no-no for me -- cuz there's a lot of things I want to try and even a little bit of all of them is way too much food. It's why bad food in general is a bad idea for me because I always want something else to go with my meal. I'm trying to get over it, but it's hard. But the majority of the meals we've had on Whole30 have been simple and boring and blah and it's kind of making me crazy. I like that the stuff we're making isn't totally a challenge and that it has been easy to accomplish this stuff in a short amount of time (especially with prepping on Sundays), but I'm so. bored.
But I'm not giving up. Which is what the timeline says frequently happens. The Whole30 "timeline", which gives a general idea of what to expect at each stage of the 30 days, says that most people quit around days 10-11. I MADE IT! WOOT.
I do need to make clear that with all this complaining, I'm still planning on staying the course. I guess I just see this blog as my opportunity to let it out so that I can brush it off and put my big girl pants back on and get back to work.
I just... would love to find some foods to eat that whet my appetite the way some of the bad foods do. And MAN do I want a sandwich!
Anyway.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Two hard-boiled eggs, an orange, cherry tomatoes and some nuts.
Lunch: Leftover taco burger salad, cucumber slices, pepper slices, carrots
Dinner: Chicken mush; aka pulled chicken & salsa with avocado.
How I Feel:
Not terrible. My eyelids are maybe slightly less heavy today than they usually are? I didn't sleep well last night so probably not a fair call. Aside from my eyes feeling tired I don't feel quite as physically tired as I usually do, I think.
I do feel a little discouraged as a result of the food boredom. I feel like everyone talks about how great all this fresh, healthy food tastes and I'm just sitting here trying not to gag on a piece of chicken (which you'll note happened to me with yesterday's lunch too). I know I need to just spice up the menu (literally and figuratively) but I thought I'd be appreciating the healthy yumminess more.
Onward and upward, though!
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Whole30: Day 10 -- Pow, Right in the Kisser
Today was another tough one, for various reasons.
One... I wasn't really hungry for the food I had planned/prepared. I was supposed to have eggs with my breakfast but I just wasn't feeling it, so I only had an orange and some nuts. Then at lunch, the leftover roast chicken I brought tasted kinda funky and kinda made me gag, so I skipped it and just had a bunch of sliced up veggies. I was 0 for 2. Surprisingly, though, I was full and didn't really start to get hungry until closer to dinnertime.
Then... well... I don't really want to get into details right now, but we got some bad news today that hit us like a sack of bricks and my "WHAM, EAT ALL THE THINGS!" instinct kicked in. We stopped on the way home from work to take my mom to CVS to pick up some things and it took every ounce of energy I had not to say fuck it and get dinner from the McDonald's a couple doors down.
We didn't, though. We came home and made our yummy taco burger salads and tried to unwind and put the day behind us.
I don't know if that instinct will ever truly go away. I was hoping it would. Maybe it'll just take more time?
Overall, today could've been much better, but we didn't go off plan and that means there's at least SOMETHING to be proud of.
Other than that, our shipment of Tessemae's stuff came in today! One of my coworkers (who is also currently doing a Whole30) recommended Tessemae's dressings to me and we picked up their balsamic dressing at Whole Foods the other weekend... well... thankfully we bought two bottles because we have already finished one! Anyway, we ordered some more of that, plus a few other Whole30-compliant condiments they sell, INCLUDING KETCHUP. And barbecue sauce. And mayonnaise! There's no telling if ANY of this stuff is gonna taste good, but it is totally worth it to find out if it means I might have something to make everything taste less blahhhhhhh. Stay tuned for the results of our taste testing. ;)
That's about all I have for today, kids. I'm wiped.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: An orange and a handful of nuts.
Lunch: Sliced cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, strawberries. A couple of failed attempts at some chicken.
Dinner: Taco burger salad: a grilled hamburger on a bed of lettuce, with homemade guacamole (I outdid myself this time!) and homemade pico (bleh -- I let Derek talk me into adding cilantro. Yuck!), and a heaping helping of hot sauce.
How I Feel:
Emotionally drained, but not related to Whole30. Physically I feel about the same as normal. I'm noticing that I'm a little more productive at work but I'm not sure if that's Whole30-related, or if it has to do with having projects at the moment that are pretty interesting. Either way, bonus!
Otherwise, samey-same.
Keep on keepin' on!
One... I wasn't really hungry for the food I had planned/prepared. I was supposed to have eggs with my breakfast but I just wasn't feeling it, so I only had an orange and some nuts. Then at lunch, the leftover roast chicken I brought tasted kinda funky and kinda made me gag, so I skipped it and just had a bunch of sliced up veggies. I was 0 for 2. Surprisingly, though, I was full and didn't really start to get hungry until closer to dinnertime.
Then... well... I don't really want to get into details right now, but we got some bad news today that hit us like a sack of bricks and my "WHAM, EAT ALL THE THINGS!" instinct kicked in. We stopped on the way home from work to take my mom to CVS to pick up some things and it took every ounce of energy I had not to say fuck it and get dinner from the McDonald's a couple doors down.
We didn't, though. We came home and made our yummy taco burger salads and tried to unwind and put the day behind us.
I don't know if that instinct will ever truly go away. I was hoping it would. Maybe it'll just take more time?
Overall, today could've been much better, but we didn't go off plan and that means there's at least SOMETHING to be proud of.
Other than that, our shipment of Tessemae's stuff came in today! One of my coworkers (who is also currently doing a Whole30) recommended Tessemae's dressings to me and we picked up their balsamic dressing at Whole Foods the other weekend... well... thankfully we bought two bottles because we have already finished one! Anyway, we ordered some more of that, plus a few other Whole30-compliant condiments they sell, INCLUDING KETCHUP. And barbecue sauce. And mayonnaise! There's no telling if ANY of this stuff is gonna taste good, but it is totally worth it to find out if it means I might have something to make everything taste less blahhhhhhh. Stay tuned for the results of our taste testing. ;)
That's about all I have for today, kids. I'm wiped.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: An orange and a handful of nuts.
Lunch: Sliced cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, strawberries. A couple of failed attempts at some chicken.
Dinner: Taco burger salad: a grilled hamburger on a bed of lettuce, with homemade guacamole (I outdid myself this time!) and homemade pico (bleh -- I let Derek talk me into adding cilantro. Yuck!), and a heaping helping of hot sauce.
How I Feel:
Emotionally drained, but not related to Whole30. Physically I feel about the same as normal. I'm noticing that I'm a little more productive at work but I'm not sure if that's Whole30-related, or if it has to do with having projects at the moment that are pretty interesting. Either way, bonus!
Otherwise, samey-same.
Keep on keepin' on!
Monday, July 28, 2014
Whole30: Day 9 -- A True Test of Willpower
Phew. Today is done. It was a great day -- had some fun with coworkers, and spent some wonderful time with friends I don't get to see NEARLY enough, but MAN. I went into both events poised and ready; having reviewed menus and chosen my meal before I even left the house.
One thing I wasn't prepared for, though...
Bad food smells. So. Good.
I had forgotten what the smell of fresh french fries and/or barbecue sauce do to me. My resolve really, really was tested today.
We went to lunch and I had set my mind to the Cobb salad, minus the bleu cheese and bacon. So -- a bowl of iceberg lettuce with tomato, avocado, egg, and chicken. And dressing I brought from home.
It was lackluster at best.
But... it would've been much easier to get through it if I hadn't been surrounded by a table full of people eating fish & chips. (It was the daily special at the restaurant we went to and literally half our group got it). It actually really felt like I was depriving myself. It kind of sucked. And Whole30 puts so much emphasis on how this isn't about deprivation, this is about stuffing your face full of AWESOME fresh yummy food, but... my salad was not that. But, I chugged through it and ate it all and didn't complain. Much. After we ate I learned how to play shuffleboard, and after I gave up on that (I'm REALLY bad at it), I played ping pong. I'm not too shabby at ping pong. Yay. It was a good time!
After work, Derek and I headed to Reston Town Center to meet up with friends. Traffic ended up being really swift for us but not so much for our friends, so we were sitting at a table in the restaurant with just our sad glasses of water for about an hour before they arrived. Honestly, it was worth it to see them and I wouldn't give it a second thought except for that we were flanked by people eating racks of ribs (naturally, the daily special at THIS restaurant). Even though I'm not really a big fan of ribs, the smell of the barbecue sauce was intoxicating. On top of that, when we sat down our poor server asked us if we'd like to start with an appetizer while we waited for our friends and it was hard as hell to turn it down. That stack of onion rings had my name on it, I swear.
Finally, everyone arrived and we ordered our food; Derek opted for a peppercorn crusted filet served on a bed of spinach and subbed out sauteed green beans for the baked potato. He said it was good but while we thought forward enough to make sure the green beans were not sauteed in butter, we didn't think about the spinach, so he didn't eat that, to be on the safe side. He said the steak and green beans were okay but he was a little hungry still.
I had a burger wrapped in lettuce, and subbed the french fries for a house salad. The burger only came with lettuce and tomato, which was great. I did make the mistake of forgetting to ask for my salad without dressing, which is weird because usually I at least ask for it on the side, even pre-Whole30, but it was balsamic vinaigrette, and the server double checked for me that there was no sugar in it. Just balsamic vinegar, oil, and spices. It was overdressed, which kinda sucked, but I feel like I did the best I could with the options that were presented to me. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that I was with dear friends. The rest was just background.
My experience today taught me a couple things: 1) When put between a rock and a hard place, I can find a solution that works. It may not be what I really want, it may not be easy, but I can do it; and 2) I think it'd be best if we avoid eating out until our Whole30 is complete. This is tough work!
And on that note, it's super late and I want to SLEEP, so let's wrap this up!
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Two hard-boiled eggs, an orange, some carrots, and some nuts (cashews and pecans)
Lunch: Cobb salad minus the nasty stuff with dressing from home
Dinner: Burger sans good stuff, served between two pieces of iceberg lettuce (I had mustard! WOO CONDIMENTS!) and a house salad with balsamic vinaigrette.
How I Feel:
I don't know if I would say that I'm more awake, or more energetic, but I was in a good mood today. Maybe because I had something to look forward to. My eyes still feel droopy all day and I had some joint pain issues as we were walking from our car to and from the restaurant this evening, but otherwise I feel good.
On to the next one! Never thought I'd be so glad to eat a home-cooked meal! ;)
One thing I wasn't prepared for, though...
Bad food smells. So. Good.
I had forgotten what the smell of fresh french fries and/or barbecue sauce do to me. My resolve really, really was tested today.
We went to lunch and I had set my mind to the Cobb salad, minus the bleu cheese and bacon. So -- a bowl of iceberg lettuce with tomato, avocado, egg, and chicken. And dressing I brought from home.
It was lackluster at best.
But... it would've been much easier to get through it if I hadn't been surrounded by a table full of people eating fish & chips. (It was the daily special at the restaurant we went to and literally half our group got it). It actually really felt like I was depriving myself. It kind of sucked. And Whole30 puts so much emphasis on how this isn't about deprivation, this is about stuffing your face full of AWESOME fresh yummy food, but... my salad was not that. But, I chugged through it and ate it all and didn't complain. Much. After we ate I learned how to play shuffleboard, and after I gave up on that (I'm REALLY bad at it), I played ping pong. I'm not too shabby at ping pong. Yay. It was a good time!
After work, Derek and I headed to Reston Town Center to meet up with friends. Traffic ended up being really swift for us but not so much for our friends, so we were sitting at a table in the restaurant with just our sad glasses of water for about an hour before they arrived. Honestly, it was worth it to see them and I wouldn't give it a second thought except for that we were flanked by people eating racks of ribs (naturally, the daily special at THIS restaurant). Even though I'm not really a big fan of ribs, the smell of the barbecue sauce was intoxicating. On top of that, when we sat down our poor server asked us if we'd like to start with an appetizer while we waited for our friends and it was hard as hell to turn it down. That stack of onion rings had my name on it, I swear.
Finally, everyone arrived and we ordered our food; Derek opted for a peppercorn crusted filet served on a bed of spinach and subbed out sauteed green beans for the baked potato. He said it was good but while we thought forward enough to make sure the green beans were not sauteed in butter, we didn't think about the spinach, so he didn't eat that, to be on the safe side. He said the steak and green beans were okay but he was a little hungry still.
I had a burger wrapped in lettuce, and subbed the french fries for a house salad. The burger only came with lettuce and tomato, which was great. I did make the mistake of forgetting to ask for my salad without dressing, which is weird because usually I at least ask for it on the side, even pre-Whole30, but it was balsamic vinaigrette, and the server double checked for me that there was no sugar in it. Just balsamic vinegar, oil, and spices. It was overdressed, which kinda sucked, but I feel like I did the best I could with the options that were presented to me. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that I was with dear friends. The rest was just background.
My experience today taught me a couple things: 1) When put between a rock and a hard place, I can find a solution that works. It may not be what I really want, it may not be easy, but I can do it; and 2) I think it'd be best if we avoid eating out until our Whole30 is complete. This is tough work!
And on that note, it's super late and I want to SLEEP, so let's wrap this up!
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Two hard-boiled eggs, an orange, some carrots, and some nuts (cashews and pecans)
Lunch: Cobb salad minus the nasty stuff with dressing from home
Dinner: Burger sans good stuff, served between two pieces of iceberg lettuce (I had mustard! WOO CONDIMENTS!) and a house salad with balsamic vinaigrette.
How I Feel:
I don't know if I would say that I'm more awake, or more energetic, but I was in a good mood today. Maybe because I had something to look forward to. My eyes still feel droopy all day and I had some joint pain issues as we were walking from our car to and from the restaurant this evening, but otherwise I feel good.
On to the next one! Never thought I'd be so glad to eat a home-cooked meal! ;)
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Whole30: Day 8 -- Productive and Boring?
Today was another rather non-descript day.
We spent the day doing exactly what we said we were going to do -- cooking meals for the day and prepping meals and veggies/fruits for the week. It was not nearly as laborious and time consuming as it was last weekend, which helped use to be able to relax some. And by relax I mean Derek played video games and I took a nap.
We made some more of the pulled chicken & salsa thing that was a hit last week; but that was really the only meal that needed to be made in advance. Oh, and I roasted a chicken. Came out quite well, for chicken. (I'm not much of a fan of chicken, but I think Derek enjoyed it so I'll call it a win.)
I've discovered I have a thing against hot vegetables. I love veggies but I much prefer to eat them cold, I've noticed. Cucumbers, peppers, carrots, tomatoes (yes, I know they're technically a fruit), onions, broccoli... much prefer them cold. I like green beans but I even noticed tonight with dinner that I just really would rather not eat them. Naturally, I've gotta get over it, but bleh.
This morning for breakfast we stepped (wayyyy) out of our comfort zone and made a sweet potato hash to go with our eggs. I am proud of us because it's typically far more cooking than we do in the morning, even on weekends, and it was out of our wheelhouse... but... it was just meh. It tasted okay to me, although I'm not really a fan of sweet potatoes (another thing I've got to get over). It was just weird eating it for breakfast. Derek had his with scrambled eggs and I made mine over-easy and served it them on top of the hash. It wasn't terrible... just... odd. But we got our breakfast veggies in and that's what counts.
Lunch was kind of a seat-of-our-pants dealie as we had intended to pack a picnic to take to the park. However, as luck would have it, it's been raining/rainy all day, which put a damper (pun intended) on those plans. Instead, we winged it (I feel like the past tense should be wung or wang... heh) and it came out quite pretty:
How I Feel:
Same as usual. Sleepy (took a good chunky nap earlier), but no tummy problems like yesterday and in a fairly good mood.
Let's hope we start to see some progress soon! :)
We spent the day doing exactly what we said we were going to do -- cooking meals for the day and prepping meals and veggies/fruits for the week. It was not nearly as laborious and time consuming as it was last weekend, which helped use to be able to relax some. And by relax I mean Derek played video games and I took a nap.
We made some more of the pulled chicken & salsa thing that was a hit last week; but that was really the only meal that needed to be made in advance. Oh, and I roasted a chicken. Came out quite well, for chicken. (I'm not much of a fan of chicken, but I think Derek enjoyed it so I'll call it a win.)
I've discovered I have a thing against hot vegetables. I love veggies but I much prefer to eat them cold, I've noticed. Cucumbers, peppers, carrots, tomatoes (yes, I know they're technically a fruit), onions, broccoli... much prefer them cold. I like green beans but I even noticed tonight with dinner that I just really would rather not eat them. Naturally, I've gotta get over it, but bleh.
This morning for breakfast we stepped (wayyyy) out of our comfort zone and made a sweet potato hash to go with our eggs. I am proud of us because it's typically far more cooking than we do in the morning, even on weekends, and it was out of our wheelhouse... but... it was just meh. It tasted okay to me, although I'm not really a fan of sweet potatoes (another thing I've got to get over). It was just weird eating it for breakfast. Derek had his with scrambled eggs and I made mine over-easy and served it them on top of the hash. It wasn't terrible... just... odd. But we got our breakfast veggies in and that's what counts.
Lunch was kind of a seat-of-our-pants dealie as we had intended to pack a picnic to take to the park. However, as luck would have it, it's been raining/rainy all day, which put a damper (pun intended) on those plans. Instead, we winged it (I feel like the past tense should be wung or wang... heh) and it came out quite pretty:
Tomorrow is the test of our will -- I'll be eating out twice tomorrow, Derek once. For me, it'll be great to get out of the office for a little while, and then later, wonderful to spend some time with friends I haven't seen in quite some time.
But for now, off to get ready for bed!
What I Ate:
Breakfast: two over-easy eggs on top of sweet potato hash
Lunch: A little bit of organic deli meat (turkey; Derek had roast beef), veggies, some watermelon, and a handful of nuts (cashews and pecans) for our healthy fats. Eating deli meat without it being on a sandwich is a little odd for me, must say, but it was a good lunch.
Dinner: Roast chicken and green beans.How I Feel:
Same as usual. Sleepy (took a good chunky nap earlier), but no tummy problems like yesterday and in a fairly good mood.
Let's hope we start to see some progress soon! :)
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Whole30: Day 7 -- One Week DONE!
I get Whole30 Daily emails and at the end of each day's edition, there's a set of links -- one you click if you completed the day, and one to click if you messed up. This is the photo it gave me when I clicked that I completed the day. I think it is apropos.
Today was much, much better than yesterday. Still a little bitter, but I'm sucking it up. We went grocery shopping today and spent an egregious amount of money on food, but then Derek reminded me that we usually spend not TOO much less than that and then STILL go out to eat most days of the week. So... we're still saving a shit-ton of money. And eating healthy. Who'da thunk? Any of you reading this who have ever said "I can't afford to buy healthy foods"... you are wrong. It can be done. I swear it.
It's still feeling weird for Derek and I to not have our weekend activities revolve around where we're going to get food. We ate all our meals at home, and after lunch, for example, we were trying to figure out what to do but it... well, it was hard! Tomorrow after we get our food prep done, we're going to pack a picnic and go to a park (there are a couple very close by). We've been talking about doing it for a while and I think this is as good a time as any. Maybe I'll remember to take some pictures! :)
Victory for the day: We forgot to pick up the stuff necessary for the recipe that was on the meal plan for tonight, so instead of saying screw it and going out, we found some other meat that was stuffed in the freezer and had that instead. :)
Not much else to say about today, honestly. Hasta luego! :)
What I Ate:
Breakfast: two scrambled eggs, an orange, and some watermelon. Too much fruit but it was our last meal before groceries -- we were OUT.
Lunch: Leftover chicken breast, salad, and a handful of cherries
Dinner: Steak and salad.
How I Feel:
Pretty okay. Still tired (as usual). I still don't think my body particularly cares for all of the vegetables it's getting right now... I think it's not used to so much leafiness, in particular. I'll leave it at that, but suffice it to say my tummy is a little upset right now. Otherwise, I'm in a good mood and I'm looking forward to starting Week 2. As one of my friends pointed out, after lunch tomorrow I will be officially 25% done with Whole30! Woot!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Whole30: Day 6 -- Today Was Hard. Go Figure.
So... today kinda sucked. I was not expecting this.
Fridays are my work-from-home days. I work extra hours during the week and so I only work about a half day on Fridays. Prior to Whole30, my typical game plan was hang out at home doing work until I'm off, then head out and grab some lunch and do whatever errands I had (usually a doctor appointment), or do something fun, or just come home and eat my crappy lunch and veg out for the day.
So, going into this week, and starting the Whole30, I figured no big deal. I'd eat lunch at home and then go on about my business and do whatever I normally would do.
Not so fast...
I skipped breakfast. To be fair, I usually do on Fridays. No real reason why other than I get out of bed and go straight to the office, essentially, and I sit there until I'm "off work" because otherwise, I'm going to get distracted and, well, not do any work. I had plans to cook myself some eggs or something because we're running out of food (tomorrow is grocery day), but that didn't happen.
I wrapped up my work and went downstairs to prep for dinner -- steaks that needed to marinate for 4-5 hours. Cool. Done. And then... well, I realized I was hungry. I opened the fridge and stared at the mostly-empty shelves, and found the container that was supposed to be my lunch. Leftover zucchini noodles with meat sauce. I really, really did not want it. Okay, I thought, what else is there?
... Nothing. There was nothing. Other than eggs and the steaks that were marinating for dinner, we had no protein. Just a couple bowls of cut-up fruit and some vegetables. And the dregs of a bowl of homemade mayonnaise.
Crap. I wanted a sandwich. I wanted a big toasted sub with cheese and mayonnaise and all the other crapola I'm not supposed to have. I wanted a gigantic fountain soda and a bag of Miss Vickie's jalapeno flavored chips. And a chocolate chip cookie. I wanted a "normal" lunch.
So I decided I just wouldn't eat anything.
I went and sat down on the couch and texted Derek and told him how I felt. He, rationally (but not in so many words), told me I was being dumb and to suck it up, I didn't have a choice. And I had to eat. But I didn't wannaaaaaaaa.
*grumblegrowlgurgle*
Well, shit. I awoke the beast. And was that the beginning of a hunger headache I was feeling? Phooey. I needed food. I went back into the kitchen and stared at everything. I opened our pantry and stared at the (quite literally) nearly bare shelves. (Not even joking -- our stuffed-to-the-brim pantry was decimated; all that remains is half a shelf of random compliant canned goods and condiments. Sad.) Nothing.
I opened the fridge again and looked at the same things I had JUST looked at 20 minutes prior. Nope, Sarah, nothing new has appeared. There isn't magically any delicious crap-food waiting to be ingested. Just a bowl of sad, fake spaghetti. Sigh.
I steeled myself. And despite not being interested in eating it at all, I heated up that damn bowl of zucchini noodles + sauce. And I cut up an orange. And finished off the bag of baby carrots. And poured a gigantic glass of ice water. And I sat down and ate it and only grumbled a little bit. Like an adult.
I texted Derek a photo of what I ended up eating, and he praised me and told me I did a good job. I texted my best friend and she said she was proud of me. I know I did the right thing. But why do I feel so sad about it? I ended up not eating all of it (I ate plenty; I had just put way too much in the bowl) but felt satiated. The grumbles went away, as did that start of a headache. I didn't break plan. I did what I said I was going to do.
But it sucks. I know I'm doing the right thing and that the Whole30 is probably the best decision I've made regarding my health in a very long time. But, truth be told, this week (before today) was pretty easy. Today sucked, because it was a reminder that my patterns have to change. My behaviors and habits were terrible, and half the time they weren't even real desires -- they were just habits. But... they were mine. It was my comfort. Doctors appointments are stressful -- grab some chicken nuggets to eat on your ride across town (or across the County, in some instances). Here, a bucket of Diet Dr. Pepper will make you feel better.
And I miss it. I miss the ease, I miss the comfort. Everything is a production now. I can't just pop in somewhere and pick something up if I don't feel like cooking. Too bad, so sad, Sarah. Get your ass in the kitchen. Oh, you want a sandwich? Hahaha suck it, roast a chicken/grill a steak/bake some fish/spend 3 hours crafting a meal. Why can't restaurants just serve real food that tastes delicious so that I can have the best of both worlds? (Because life doesn't work that way, cupcake. Grow up.) (Mmm, cupcakes.) Most of all, I hate that getting healthy and losing weight means I have to sever my ties with everything I like. Sure, fast food is terrible and I could get over that... but what's wrong with a good sandwich every once in a while? Or a taco wrapped in a damn tortilla instead of in a freakin leaf of lettuce? Thinking that I'll never get to eat macaroni and cheese again makes me sad. Realizing that every single social outing or family get together or a random date night out will be complicated and require an inane amount of planning and that I'll always be the one that has to turn down the appetizers, and the bread basket, and have to fucking carry my own damn salad dressing in my purse makes me want to scream. Why can't I just be like everyone else. Everyone else who eats what they want but can shut it off when they're supposed to and they can just live. Normally.
I love to bake. It's cathartic and relaxing and provides me with a sense of accomplishment. But now, I can't, because I don't trust myself not to sample my own treats when I'm done with them. And I don't really have anyone to give them away to anyway. Aside from that, the thought that I can't ice a cupcake without getting some on my fingers, and then I have to be mindful to WIPE my fingers off instead of licking them because SUGARBADNONONO... Sigh. It's a lot. It's a lot to take in and a lot to handle and a lot to process and a lot to adjust to.
I know that I don't have a choice. Like I've said a jillion times, I'm doing the right thing. I just want to get to the point that everyone says I'm going to get to, where eating real food is second nature, and the bad stuff doesn't call my name. But... what if I don't get there? What if when the 30 days is up, and I start to reintegrate some of the non-compliant foods (which is the point of the plan)... I fall right back off the wagon and go back to square one? And gain back all the weight I have (theoretically) lost? What do I do then? Nothing else is left!
Ugh. I need a nap. This is hard.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: None. Please don't lecture me, I know I screwed this up.
Lunch: zucchini noodles with meat sauce, an orange, and carrots.
Dinner: Balsamic-rosemary marinated steaks, a couple of roasted baby potatoes, and broccoli.
How I Feel:
Physically? Same as always. Sleepy, but that's normal for me.
Mentally? I think you could figure that out if you read the wall of text above this. I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I'm anxious and scared and worried and annoyed and running out of steam.
But... the day is over. Another one down, 24 to go.
Fridays are my work-from-home days. I work extra hours during the week and so I only work about a half day on Fridays. Prior to Whole30, my typical game plan was hang out at home doing work until I'm off, then head out and grab some lunch and do whatever errands I had (usually a doctor appointment), or do something fun, or just come home and eat my crappy lunch and veg out for the day.
So, going into this week, and starting the Whole30, I figured no big deal. I'd eat lunch at home and then go on about my business and do whatever I normally would do.
Not so fast...
I skipped breakfast. To be fair, I usually do on Fridays. No real reason why other than I get out of bed and go straight to the office, essentially, and I sit there until I'm "off work" because otherwise, I'm going to get distracted and, well, not do any work. I had plans to cook myself some eggs or something because we're running out of food (tomorrow is grocery day), but that didn't happen.
I wrapped up my work and went downstairs to prep for dinner -- steaks that needed to marinate for 4-5 hours. Cool. Done. And then... well, I realized I was hungry. I opened the fridge and stared at the mostly-empty shelves, and found the container that was supposed to be my lunch. Leftover zucchini noodles with meat sauce. I really, really did not want it. Okay, I thought, what else is there?
... Nothing. There was nothing. Other than eggs and the steaks that were marinating for dinner, we had no protein. Just a couple bowls of cut-up fruit and some vegetables. And the dregs of a bowl of homemade mayonnaise.
Crap. I wanted a sandwich. I wanted a big toasted sub with cheese and mayonnaise and all the other crapola I'm not supposed to have. I wanted a gigantic fountain soda and a bag of Miss Vickie's jalapeno flavored chips. And a chocolate chip cookie. I wanted a "normal" lunch.
So I decided I just wouldn't eat anything.
I went and sat down on the couch and texted Derek and told him how I felt. He, rationally (but not in so many words), told me I was being dumb and to suck it up, I didn't have a choice. And I had to eat. But I didn't wannaaaaaaaa.
*grumblegrowlgurgle*
Well, shit. I awoke the beast. And was that the beginning of a hunger headache I was feeling? Phooey. I needed food. I went back into the kitchen and stared at everything. I opened our pantry and stared at the (quite literally) nearly bare shelves. (Not even joking -- our stuffed-to-the-brim pantry was decimated; all that remains is half a shelf of random compliant canned goods and condiments. Sad.) Nothing.
I opened the fridge again and looked at the same things I had JUST looked at 20 minutes prior. Nope, Sarah, nothing new has appeared. There isn't magically any delicious crap-food waiting to be ingested. Just a bowl of sad, fake spaghetti. Sigh.
I steeled myself. And despite not being interested in eating it at all, I heated up that damn bowl of zucchini noodles + sauce. And I cut up an orange. And finished off the bag of baby carrots. And poured a gigantic glass of ice water. And I sat down and ate it and only grumbled a little bit. Like an adult.
I texted Derek a photo of what I ended up eating, and he praised me and told me I did a good job. I texted my best friend and she said she was proud of me. I know I did the right thing. But why do I feel so sad about it? I ended up not eating all of it (I ate plenty; I had just put way too much in the bowl) but felt satiated. The grumbles went away, as did that start of a headache. I didn't break plan. I did what I said I was going to do.
But it sucks. I know I'm doing the right thing and that the Whole30 is probably the best decision I've made regarding my health in a very long time. But, truth be told, this week (before today) was pretty easy. Today sucked, because it was a reminder that my patterns have to change. My behaviors and habits were terrible, and half the time they weren't even real desires -- they were just habits. But... they were mine. It was my comfort. Doctors appointments are stressful -- grab some chicken nuggets to eat on your ride across town (or across the County, in some instances). Here, a bucket of Diet Dr. Pepper will make you feel better.
And I miss it. I miss the ease, I miss the comfort. Everything is a production now. I can't just pop in somewhere and pick something up if I don't feel like cooking. Too bad, so sad, Sarah. Get your ass in the kitchen. Oh, you want a sandwich? Hahaha suck it, roast a chicken/grill a steak/bake some fish/spend 3 hours crafting a meal. Why can't restaurants just serve real food that tastes delicious so that I can have the best of both worlds? (Because life doesn't work that way, cupcake. Grow up.) (Mmm, cupcakes.) Most of all, I hate that getting healthy and losing weight means I have to sever my ties with everything I like. Sure, fast food is terrible and I could get over that... but what's wrong with a good sandwich every once in a while? Or a taco wrapped in a damn tortilla instead of in a freakin leaf of lettuce? Thinking that I'll never get to eat macaroni and cheese again makes me sad. Realizing that every single social outing or family get together or a random date night out will be complicated and require an inane amount of planning and that I'll always be the one that has to turn down the appetizers, and the bread basket, and have to fucking carry my own damn salad dressing in my purse makes me want to scream. Why can't I just be like everyone else. Everyone else who eats what they want but can shut it off when they're supposed to and they can just live. Normally.
I love to bake. It's cathartic and relaxing and provides me with a sense of accomplishment. But now, I can't, because I don't trust myself not to sample my own treats when I'm done with them. And I don't really have anyone to give them away to anyway. Aside from that, the thought that I can't ice a cupcake without getting some on my fingers, and then I have to be mindful to WIPE my fingers off instead of licking them because SUGARBADNONONO... Sigh. It's a lot. It's a lot to take in and a lot to handle and a lot to process and a lot to adjust to.
I know that I don't have a choice. Like I've said a jillion times, I'm doing the right thing. I just want to get to the point that everyone says I'm going to get to, where eating real food is second nature, and the bad stuff doesn't call my name. But... what if I don't get there? What if when the 30 days is up, and I start to reintegrate some of the non-compliant foods (which is the point of the plan)... I fall right back off the wagon and go back to square one? And gain back all the weight I have (theoretically) lost? What do I do then? Nothing else is left!
Ugh. I need a nap. This is hard.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: None. Please don't lecture me, I know I screwed this up.
Lunch: zucchini noodles with meat sauce, an orange, and carrots.
Dinner: Balsamic-rosemary marinated steaks, a couple of roasted baby potatoes, and broccoli.
How I Feel:
Physically? Same as always. Sleepy, but that's normal for me.
Mentally? I think you could figure that out if you read the wall of text above this. I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I'm anxious and scared and worried and annoyed and running out of steam.
But... the day is over. Another one down, 24 to go.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Whole30: Day 5 -- Am I DOING This Right?!
Hi. Another day down in the Whole30 books. I've got to say, I'm wondering if I am doing this right.
Everything I've read, from the creators of Whole30 and people who've done it before, is saying that right now I should be cranky and pretty miserable. I feel... nothing. I mean, I feel like I always do. I'm tired, I don't have a lot of energy, and my -ahem- digestion is a little off.
I had one bad day, Monday, while I was detoxing from caffeine. I've been drinking an insane amount of water since then (although admittedly less today than earlier this week) but I'm no more refreshed than I usually am.
It worries me, frankly. Am I doing this wrong? Am I some weird breed of person who doesn't have terrible reactions to grains and dairy and I'm just fat and miserable for no good reason? What happens if nothing changes between now and the end of Whole30? Do I keep going? Do I try something else? Do I throw in the towel and resign myself to a life of obesity and meh-ness?
I'm staying positive, and not like, tempted to cheat or anything, but this is definitely weighing on me (no pun intended). I hope something changes soon. I hate feeling like this is useless.
In other news, the restaurant for our staff outing was picked. Unfortunately, it was not the restaurant I was hoping for. I'm nervous. (Duh, have you met me? A stiff wind makes me nervous.) To add to the nerves, a couple of our best long-distance friends are in town Monday and we are meeting up with them for dinner. Out. Which I'm excited about because I haven't seen them in a ridiculous amount of time, but it means eating out twice in a day. Ack. Ack, ack, ack. I really don't want to sabotage this. I don't want to fuck this up. I fuck everything up. Not this time. I have to get this right.
Okay, enough beating myself up for today.
Tomorrow is Friday, which is the day that I work from home. Surviving tomorrow is going to be HUGE, because my ritual has been that I work until 1:30, and then go out to get myself lunch (which is typically followed by speed-racing to one of a variety of doctor appointments, but I digress). Usually lunch is something fast-foody, so eating at home yet not relegating myself to stay inside all afternoon will be a challenge. On a random note, out of curiosity I looked into the ingredient information for Chick-Fil-A's grilled chicken. Admittedly, Chick-Fil-A has typically been my Friday lunch of choice, and while I have no intentions of going there, I was curious to see what exactly is in their food and if ANY of it was W30 friendly. You'd think that at the very least, the grilled chicken salad would be alright, right (without the dressing)? You'd be wrong. They pump their chicken full of so much shit... sugar and oil and bullshit... It's a miracle they still call it chicken. Okay, I'm not going to pretend that I'm on some sort of high horse because you know what, I still think Chick-Fil-A is delicious, dammit, but it's a real eye opener (though not exactly a surprise) that even food billed as the healthier choice is still nasty crap. Similarly, Subway's lunch meat is pumped full of so much crap that I'm pretty sure they can only call it meat if they use quotation marks. Depressing.
Anyway.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Two hard-boiled eggs, an orange, and a handful of walnuts.
Lunch: leftovers of last night's yummy tacoburgersaladdeliciousness. Mmmmm. Plus, a handful each of cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, and baby carrots.
Dinner: The meat sauce we made on Sunday served on zucchini noodles. Derek was not a huge fan, I didn't hate it but it's not going on any favorites list. Zucchini noodles don't taste bad but the texture is a little offputting. I guess it's just cuz I'm still expecting conventional pasta. All in all it wasn't bad. Would've been better with a side of garlic bread. ;)
How I Feel:
Like I said... I feel... fine? Nothing remarkable to report. Is it weird I'm a little upset that I'm not biting people's heads off? I guess I am just eagerly awaiting some kind of proof that we made the right choice going into this. I know 5 days is early and we still have a long ways to go, I'm just... eager. Anxious. And impatient as a motherfucker.
Anyway. On to the next one!
Everything I've read, from the creators of Whole30 and people who've done it before, is saying that right now I should be cranky and pretty miserable. I feel... nothing. I mean, I feel like I always do. I'm tired, I don't have a lot of energy, and my -ahem- digestion is a little off.
I had one bad day, Monday, while I was detoxing from caffeine. I've been drinking an insane amount of water since then (although admittedly less today than earlier this week) but I'm no more refreshed than I usually am.
It worries me, frankly. Am I doing this wrong? Am I some weird breed of person who doesn't have terrible reactions to grains and dairy and I'm just fat and miserable for no good reason? What happens if nothing changes between now and the end of Whole30? Do I keep going? Do I try something else? Do I throw in the towel and resign myself to a life of obesity and meh-ness?
I'm staying positive, and not like, tempted to cheat or anything, but this is definitely weighing on me (no pun intended). I hope something changes soon. I hate feeling like this is useless.
In other news, the restaurant for our staff outing was picked. Unfortunately, it was not the restaurant I was hoping for. I'm nervous. (Duh, have you met me? A stiff wind makes me nervous.) To add to the nerves, a couple of our best long-distance friends are in town Monday and we are meeting up with them for dinner. Out. Which I'm excited about because I haven't seen them in a ridiculous amount of time, but it means eating out twice in a day. Ack. Ack, ack, ack. I really don't want to sabotage this. I don't want to fuck this up. I fuck everything up. Not this time. I have to get this right.
Okay, enough beating myself up for today.
Tomorrow is Friday, which is the day that I work from home. Surviving tomorrow is going to be HUGE, because my ritual has been that I work until 1:30, and then go out to get myself lunch (which is typically followed by speed-racing to one of a variety of doctor appointments, but I digress). Usually lunch is something fast-foody, so eating at home yet not relegating myself to stay inside all afternoon will be a challenge. On a random note, out of curiosity I looked into the ingredient information for Chick-Fil-A's grilled chicken. Admittedly, Chick-Fil-A has typically been my Friday lunch of choice, and while I have no intentions of going there, I was curious to see what exactly is in their food and if ANY of it was W30 friendly. You'd think that at the very least, the grilled chicken salad would be alright, right (without the dressing)? You'd be wrong. They pump their chicken full of so much shit... sugar and oil and bullshit... It's a miracle they still call it chicken. Okay, I'm not going to pretend that I'm on some sort of high horse because you know what, I still think Chick-Fil-A is delicious, dammit, but it's a real eye opener (though not exactly a surprise) that even food billed as the healthier choice is still nasty crap. Similarly, Subway's lunch meat is pumped full of so much crap that I'm pretty sure they can only call it meat if they use quotation marks. Depressing.
Anyway.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Two hard-boiled eggs, an orange, and a handful of walnuts.
Lunch: leftovers of last night's yummy tacoburgersaladdeliciousness. Mmmmm. Plus, a handful each of cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, and baby carrots.
Dinner: The meat sauce we made on Sunday served on zucchini noodles. Derek was not a huge fan, I didn't hate it but it's not going on any favorites list. Zucchini noodles don't taste bad but the texture is a little offputting. I guess it's just cuz I'm still expecting conventional pasta. All in all it wasn't bad. Would've been better with a side of garlic bread. ;)
How I Feel:
Like I said... I feel... fine? Nothing remarkable to report. Is it weird I'm a little upset that I'm not biting people's heads off? I guess I am just eagerly awaiting some kind of proof that we made the right choice going into this. I know 5 days is early and we still have a long ways to go, I'm just... eager. Anxious. And impatient as a motherfucker.
Anyway. On to the next one!
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Whole30: Day 4 -- A Huge Accomplishment and a LOT of Trips to the Bathroom
Today was a good day. According to the Whole30 "timeline", we are supposed to now be in the phase known as "Kill All the Things". Thankfully, I'm not there yet and I don't think Derek is either.
Had a slight panic attack this morning. One of my coworkers, who is on Paleo, came by my desk and said she had just gotten these yummy new sour cream and onion flavored kale chips from Whole Foods, and was pretty sure they were okay for Whole30 -- did I want to try any? I read the ingredients list and sure enough, everything looked hunky-dory. I tried one, and yeah, actually, it was pretty good. No risk of being a trigger for me, because, well, it was KALE, but it was a nice little bite. So she offered me some more and I poured a little bit onto a paper towel and nibbled while we chit-chatted. Randomly, she started mentioning ingredients and said something about sunflower seeds. I FLIPPED. I was POSITIVE that Whole30 condemned all seeds and that on Day 4, without even meaning to, I'd ruined it and was going to have to start over. And not even for something good. I cheated with KALE. Kale*!? Really!? AUGH! I freaked out and texted Derek... and before he could answer, I thought, "Hey, let me look it up. Maybe it's okay." And sure enough... Sunflower seeds are listed under the "Limit" category, but are not verboten and I did NOT ruin the plan. WOOHOO. Crisis averted!
(*The more I type and say "kale", the less it looks and sounds like a real word.)
Also of note today: I walked my tail over to CVS and bought a gallon of water. Less because I wanted the water, and more because I wanted the gallon container. A couple of my coworkers both keep gallon jugs on their desk that they fill with water every day with the intention of drinking the whole gallon by the end of the day. I thought this was an awesome idea and wanted to see if I could do it. Especially considering that a fair chunk of the reason I hadn't been drinking much water is that I had to keep getting up and going upstairs to fill my cup. Soooo, I bought my gallon today, and I actually drank OVER half of it. That's 64 ounces of water! That's a LOT of water! (The recommendation I've actually heard is that you should drink 64oz, not a gallon, but a gallon is a noble goal.) As you may imagine, I made a lot of trips to the potty today. Is it weird that I feel good about myself when my pee is almost clear? (Hey, I said I was going to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but. If this is too much honesty for you, you may wanna stop following me, lol!)
Anyhoo. It's looking like the general consensus for the work outing I mentioned yesterday is going to be the Mexican restaurant. In a fit of over-cautiousness, I emailed the restaurant (I will call tomorrow) to see if they could tell me what kind of oil they cook their fajita meat and veggies in, and what's in the seasoning they use. I am not expecting an answer, but emailing is easier than calling for me (because the best time to call is between meal shifts, but that just happens to usually be my busiest time of the day). I'm trying to be proactive and make sure I know what's on my plate.
We had another small victory today, too. We got home and realized that the meal for tonight was supposed to be some grilled chicken breasts with veggies, but that we didn't have enough chicken. The OLD Sarah and Derek would've said screw it and gone to Taco Bell or someplace equally heinous, but instead, I came up with the genius, off-the-cuff idea to grill some burgers (which we already had in the freezer) and throw them on top of some lettuce with some homemade pico de gallo (sort of -- I didn't have cilantro so I just threw onions and tomatoes in a bowl) and homemade guacamole. Oh, and a half-gallon of Cholula. (Can you tell I'm kind of obsessed with it?)
First of all, it was effing DELICIOUS. I mean, this is the kind of meal I would've eaten pre-Whole30 (although admittedly I would've tossed some cheese and/or sour cream on top too), and I've already decided it will be one to stay in the rotation throughout the Whole30 and after.
But more importantly than that, we overcame the hurdle of being too lazy to figure something out and utilize what we have, instead relying on cheap, quick food that does nothing for us nutritionally and actually makes life worse.
Big ol' honkin' pat on the back for the Hackleys! WOOT.
SO.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Strawberries. TOTALLY lacking some protein and that was a terrible idea. I don't recommend. I had every intention of getting a couple hard-boiled eggs from the little deli near my office, but the time got away from me.
Lunch: Same as yesterday -- pulled chicken and salsa; although I forgot to bring avocado with me so I just dumped more Cholula on it. (Have I mentioned how much I love this hot sauce and how glad I am that it's compliant?) Also, cucumbers.
Dinner: Taco Burger Salad... or whatever we're gonna call it. Burger, greens, pico, and guac. And Cholula. Cuz duh. I had to take a picture. LOOK at my masterpiece: (Okay it's not actually that pretty but I promise, it was delicious. And yes, we ate dinner on paper plates cuz homegirl hates doing dishes.)
How I Feel:
Normal. About the same way I felt pre-Whole30. Tired. Eyes droopy, but not completely busted. Decent mood.
I will say, though, that the massive increase in vegetable consumption is catching up with me, ifyouknowwhatImean... I had some really awful abdominal pains last night as I was laying down to go to bed and had to get up a couple times. (I'll leave it at that, thankyouandyou'rewelcome).
Mentally, I'm proud of myself. I'm still wanting some random junk food. (Cannot get grilled cheese sandwich out of my headdddddd.) I've had multiple opportunities to cheat but did not act on them. I'm feeling more and more convinced that I can do this. And that, my friends, is all I need to get me to the end.
Until tomorrow!
Had a slight panic attack this morning. One of my coworkers, who is on Paleo, came by my desk and said she had just gotten these yummy new sour cream and onion flavored kale chips from Whole Foods, and was pretty sure they were okay for Whole30 -- did I want to try any? I read the ingredients list and sure enough, everything looked hunky-dory. I tried one, and yeah, actually, it was pretty good. No risk of being a trigger for me, because, well, it was KALE, but it was a nice little bite. So she offered me some more and I poured a little bit onto a paper towel and nibbled while we chit-chatted. Randomly, she started mentioning ingredients and said something about sunflower seeds. I FLIPPED. I was POSITIVE that Whole30 condemned all seeds and that on Day 4, without even meaning to, I'd ruined it and was going to have to start over. And not even for something good. I cheated with KALE. Kale*!? Really!? AUGH! I freaked out and texted Derek... and before he could answer, I thought, "Hey, let me look it up. Maybe it's okay." And sure enough... Sunflower seeds are listed under the "Limit" category, but are not verboten and I did NOT ruin the plan. WOOHOO. Crisis averted!
(*The more I type and say "kale", the less it looks and sounds like a real word.)
Also of note today: I walked my tail over to CVS and bought a gallon of water. Less because I wanted the water, and more because I wanted the gallon container. A couple of my coworkers both keep gallon jugs on their desk that they fill with water every day with the intention of drinking the whole gallon by the end of the day. I thought this was an awesome idea and wanted to see if I could do it. Especially considering that a fair chunk of the reason I hadn't been drinking much water is that I had to keep getting up and going upstairs to fill my cup. Soooo, I bought my gallon today, and I actually drank OVER half of it. That's 64 ounces of water! That's a LOT of water! (The recommendation I've actually heard is that you should drink 64oz, not a gallon, but a gallon is a noble goal.) As you may imagine, I made a lot of trips to the potty today. Is it weird that I feel good about myself when my pee is almost clear? (Hey, I said I was going to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but. If this is too much honesty for you, you may wanna stop following me, lol!)
Anyhoo. It's looking like the general consensus for the work outing I mentioned yesterday is going to be the Mexican restaurant. In a fit of over-cautiousness, I emailed the restaurant (I will call tomorrow) to see if they could tell me what kind of oil they cook their fajita meat and veggies in, and what's in the seasoning they use. I am not expecting an answer, but emailing is easier than calling for me (because the best time to call is between meal shifts, but that just happens to usually be my busiest time of the day). I'm trying to be proactive and make sure I know what's on my plate.
We had another small victory today, too. We got home and realized that the meal for tonight was supposed to be some grilled chicken breasts with veggies, but that we didn't have enough chicken. The OLD Sarah and Derek would've said screw it and gone to Taco Bell or someplace equally heinous, but instead, I came up with the genius, off-the-cuff idea to grill some burgers (which we already had in the freezer) and throw them on top of some lettuce with some homemade pico de gallo (sort of -- I didn't have cilantro so I just threw onions and tomatoes in a bowl) and homemade guacamole. Oh, and a half-gallon of Cholula. (Can you tell I'm kind of obsessed with it?)
First of all, it was effing DELICIOUS. I mean, this is the kind of meal I would've eaten pre-Whole30 (although admittedly I would've tossed some cheese and/or sour cream on top too), and I've already decided it will be one to stay in the rotation throughout the Whole30 and after.
But more importantly than that, we overcame the hurdle of being too lazy to figure something out and utilize what we have, instead relying on cheap, quick food that does nothing for us nutritionally and actually makes life worse.
Big ol' honkin' pat on the back for the Hackleys! WOOT.
SO.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: Strawberries. TOTALLY lacking some protein and that was a terrible idea. I don't recommend. I had every intention of getting a couple hard-boiled eggs from the little deli near my office, but the time got away from me.
Lunch: Same as yesterday -- pulled chicken and salsa; although I forgot to bring avocado with me so I just dumped more Cholula on it. (Have I mentioned how much I love this hot sauce and how glad I am that it's compliant?) Also, cucumbers.
Dinner: Taco Burger Salad... or whatever we're gonna call it. Burger, greens, pico, and guac. And Cholula. Cuz duh. I had to take a picture. LOOK at my masterpiece: (Okay it's not actually that pretty but I promise, it was delicious. And yes, we ate dinner on paper plates cuz homegirl hates doing dishes.)
How I Feel:
Normal. About the same way I felt pre-Whole30. Tired. Eyes droopy, but not completely busted. Decent mood.
I will say, though, that the massive increase in vegetable consumption is catching up with me, ifyouknowwhatImean... I had some really awful abdominal pains last night as I was laying down to go to bed and had to get up a couple times. (I'll leave it at that, thankyouandyou'rewelcome).
Mentally, I'm proud of myself. I'm still wanting some random junk food. (Cannot get grilled cheese sandwich out of my headdddddd.) I've had multiple opportunities to cheat but did not act on them. I'm feeling more and more convinced that I can do this. And that, my friends, is all I need to get me to the end.
Until tomorrow!
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Whole30: Day 3 -- Want Food... All the Food...
Today went a heck of a lot better than yesterday did. I made it through caffeine withdrawals and didn't have any headaches today. That alone makes today a win! We stayed on plan, I managed to actually eat my lunch, and we cooked dinner tonight! Hooray!
I was presented with one little challenge, though. My office's "team outing" is scheduled for this Monday. Initially the plan was that we were going to be going to the Newseum, which is a local museum that focuses on, well, the news. It's pretty cool and I've wanted to go for a while. Well, for various reasons, plans have changed and we're no longer going there; the plan now is just to go to lunch together.
ACK.
You see, when we were just going to the Newseum, the understanding was that we were on our own for lunch -- do what we want; there's a cafeteria on site. My plan was to just smuggle some snacks in with me to tide me over and then eat a real meal later, either when I got home or back to the office.
That's a lot harder to do when the outing consists of going to a restaurant.
To top it off, we've been given a list of 5 restaurants to choose our top TWO from. Two of the five have been counted out for me right off the bat because they a) have no healthy options and/or b) are trigger food (one of them is a pizza/sub/milkshake place, one is a barbecue joint).
That leaves three. I'm leaning towards two of them in particular, but I'm nervous about either choice. One of them is like a restaurant/game hall (pool, shuffleboard, darts, etc.), the other is a Mexican place. I've checked out the menus for both of them. They both have salads that could work with very little adaptation (although I would need to bring my own salad dressing with me...) but both present problems. With the first place, I'm not sure what really to expect. Is it gonna be like standard bar food? If so, what do I expect from this salad? A bowl of sloppy iceberg lettuce with a slice of tomato and some carrot shavings? With the Mexican place... three words: chips and salsa. HUGE HUGE HUGE trigger for me (although thankfully I'm not a huge fan of this particular restaurant's salsa, so that may help).
I just don't know what to do. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I can't NOT go... it's our staff outing and I already RSVPed that I would go when I thought we were still going to the Newseum. Not to mention it looks like I'm a bad team player if I am the only one (more or less) not there. Besides, I WANT to be able to be social with my coworkers. Some of them are pretty cool and it'll be nice to get away from my desk for a change.
Le sigh. I have until Thursday to finalize my top two choices. I mean, I guess I know what I'm going to pick, I'm just nervous about whatever ends up being the final decision.
ANYWAY.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: chicken salad (same as yesterday) and about a cup of strawberries. Late morning snack of watermelon.
Lunch: Leftover pulled chicken with salsa, half an avocado and a bucket of Cholula; and a ziploc baggy full of vegetables (cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers).
Dinner: Gambas al ajillo (shrimp with garlic) and a salad with Tessemae's balsamic dressing.
How I Feel:
Better. Still exhausted, but that's a normal thing for me. Had a few moments today like yesterday where the thought of putting my lunch/dinner in my mouth made me sick to my stomach but I got over it. Hunger will do that to a person, I think, lol.
Cravings are pretty fierce right now. Well, not even so much cravings for any particular item, but rather the desire to eat food I'm not supposed to. On the ride home from work, Derek and I took turns naming food we'd rather be eating. I still want a grilled cheese sandwich. Also, we had to stop at the grocery store to pick up the shrimp for dinner and it took all I had to walk past the hot bar and prepared foods section and the smell of fried chicken. I put blinders up and didn't even look at it. Kinda proud of myself for that, actually... but it was hard as hell.
Whole30 has this timeline they put together of the most common feelings/reactions/changes while on Whole30. Day 1 you feel great and proud, Days 2 and 3 you're an exhausted mess.... I'm pretty sure the cravings weren't supposed to come until later, lol. But, I've always been an overachiever. ;)
I've found myself kinda drifting off into hypotheticals of "what if I quit" or "what if we went to Taco Bell" and I know that I won't do it; I know that I want this and I want to succeed, but today is the first time that I've looked at the road ahead of me and thought "Holy crap, 27 more days of this!?!?", whereas before it was like "It's only 30 days... I can do anything for 30 days..."
Le sigh. No one said this would be easy, though. And I owe it to myself to finish, if only because I don't wanna be THAT girl that gets her friends all interested in her progress and then fails miserably. I have too much pride for that.
So, instead, I'll just cross my fingers that maybe tomorrow I'll start craving celery sticks.
(this is me not holding my breath...)
I was presented with one little challenge, though. My office's "team outing" is scheduled for this Monday. Initially the plan was that we were going to be going to the Newseum, which is a local museum that focuses on, well, the news. It's pretty cool and I've wanted to go for a while. Well, for various reasons, plans have changed and we're no longer going there; the plan now is just to go to lunch together.
ACK.
You see, when we were just going to the Newseum, the understanding was that we were on our own for lunch -- do what we want; there's a cafeteria on site. My plan was to just smuggle some snacks in with me to tide me over and then eat a real meal later, either when I got home or back to the office.
That's a lot harder to do when the outing consists of going to a restaurant.
To top it off, we've been given a list of 5 restaurants to choose our top TWO from. Two of the five have been counted out for me right off the bat because they a) have no healthy options and/or b) are trigger food (one of them is a pizza/sub/milkshake place, one is a barbecue joint).
That leaves three. I'm leaning towards two of them in particular, but I'm nervous about either choice. One of them is like a restaurant/game hall (pool, shuffleboard, darts, etc.), the other is a Mexican place. I've checked out the menus for both of them. They both have salads that could work with very little adaptation (although I would need to bring my own salad dressing with me...) but both present problems. With the first place, I'm not sure what really to expect. Is it gonna be like standard bar food? If so, what do I expect from this salad? A bowl of sloppy iceberg lettuce with a slice of tomato and some carrot shavings? With the Mexican place... three words: chips and salsa. HUGE HUGE HUGE trigger for me (although thankfully I'm not a huge fan of this particular restaurant's salsa, so that may help).
I just don't know what to do. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I can't NOT go... it's our staff outing and I already RSVPed that I would go when I thought we were still going to the Newseum. Not to mention it looks like I'm a bad team player if I am the only one (more or less) not there. Besides, I WANT to be able to be social with my coworkers. Some of them are pretty cool and it'll be nice to get away from my desk for a change.
Le sigh. I have until Thursday to finalize my top two choices. I mean, I guess I know what I'm going to pick, I'm just nervous about whatever ends up being the final decision.
ANYWAY.
What I Ate:
Breakfast: chicken salad (same as yesterday) and about a cup of strawberries. Late morning snack of watermelon.
Lunch: Leftover pulled chicken with salsa, half an avocado and a bucket of Cholula; and a ziploc baggy full of vegetables (cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers).
Dinner: Gambas al ajillo (shrimp with garlic) and a salad with Tessemae's balsamic dressing.
How I Feel:
Better. Still exhausted, but that's a normal thing for me. Had a few moments today like yesterday where the thought of putting my lunch/dinner in my mouth made me sick to my stomach but I got over it. Hunger will do that to a person, I think, lol.
Cravings are pretty fierce right now. Well, not even so much cravings for any particular item, but rather the desire to eat food I'm not supposed to. On the ride home from work, Derek and I took turns naming food we'd rather be eating. I still want a grilled cheese sandwich. Also, we had to stop at the grocery store to pick up the shrimp for dinner and it took all I had to walk past the hot bar and prepared foods section and the smell of fried chicken. I put blinders up and didn't even look at it. Kinda proud of myself for that, actually... but it was hard as hell.
Whole30 has this timeline they put together of the most common feelings/reactions/changes while on Whole30. Day 1 you feel great and proud, Days 2 and 3 you're an exhausted mess.... I'm pretty sure the cravings weren't supposed to come until later, lol. But, I've always been an overachiever. ;)
I've found myself kinda drifting off into hypotheticals of "what if I quit" or "what if we went to Taco Bell" and I know that I won't do it; I know that I want this and I want to succeed, but today is the first time that I've looked at the road ahead of me and thought "Holy crap, 27 more days of this!?!?", whereas before it was like "It's only 30 days... I can do anything for 30 days..."
Le sigh. No one said this would be easy, though. And I owe it to myself to finish, if only because I don't wanna be THAT girl that gets her friends all interested in her progress and then fails miserably. I have too much pride for that.
So, instead, I'll just cross my fingers that maybe tomorrow I'll start craving celery sticks.
(this is me not holding my breath...)
Monday, July 21, 2014
Whole 30: Day 2 -- Holy Mother of Pearl, That's a Headache!
So... as the title of the post suggests, I'm not feeling so hot today.
I'm assuming it's mostly caffeine withdrawals but I also haven't had any carbs (other than fruit) since Saturday so who knows. The Whole30 "timeline" says that most people feel like dookie (yeah I said it) on days 2 and 3, so it's nice to know I'm right on schedule! (BARF!)
The sucky part is that caffeine isn't a no-no on Whole30 -- it's just that all of my preferred vehicles for said caffeine are no-nos. No soda, obviously... coffee is okay but only without cream/milk or sweetener, which is a non-starter for me. And tea is okay but a) I'm not particularly a fan of tea, and b) the one flavor of tea I actually enjoy is decaffeinated. Argh.
Aside from the headache, which has been at about a 7/10 most of the day, I had this weird bout of nausea mid-day and ended up not really eating my lunch. It was weird... I heated it up and then as I went to take a bite of it, the thought of ingesting any of it made me want to hurl. It was the leftovers from last night's dinner, which, gotta say, weren't my absolute fave, so hopefully it was just that and not some weird reaction to eating decent human food.
Also, the cravings have started. Now, let me preface this by saying that for the past several months, I haven't really craved much of anything, ever. Like, some food tastes good, and other food doesn't, but there hasn't usually been anything that I'm like "OMG gotta have it!", for the most part. But today? Wimpy little day TWO into this program? I want everything. A grilled cheese sandwich, a turkey sandwich, macaroni and cheese, and of all things, low-sugar instant oatmeal. Peaches & Cream flavor. (I don't know. I just don't.)
NO, I haven't acted on any of these crazy cravings. I did, however, up my water intake by about 300% over what it has been the past few weeks...so there's that. Still need to be drinking more but I'll get there!
What I Ate:
Breakfast: homemade chicken salad (with my homemade mayo, BOOYAH) and about a cup of strawberries.
Lunch: I attempted to eat leftover spicy meatballs and broccoli, but that didn't happen, so I had a baggie-full of cucumbers and bell pepper strips. Not my best work.
Dinner: Pulled chicken with salsa, with half an avocado and a heaping dose of Cholula. And some carrots and grape tomatoes.
Verdict: The chicken salad was okay but it's taking some getting used to to eat non-breakfast foods for breakfast. I'm already sick of eggs though and I've only eaten them for one day, lol. Lunch was an epic failure and I'm sure it contributed to me feeling like shit for the rest of the day because I was essentially operating on fumes; Dinner was a wild success! It was DELICIOUS, easy, and DELICIOUS. (Did I mention that it was delicious?) I'm actually really excited to eat leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Avocado added the perfect touch of... something... that made it taste even better. And if you know me at all you know that any meal is made better with a gigantic bottle of Cholula.
How I Feel:
Pretty gross, honestly. Like I'm hungover from a three-day bender. This is particularly frustrating because I don't really drink, and rarely get hangovers.
Not gonna lie, my enthusiasm for this has ebbed slightly over yesterday, but I'm still not anywhere near giving in. I think that we're in a learning curve still, trying to get used to what we can and can't eat, and how much we need to plan to be eating, etc., but I know we'll get there.
Now... I really just want to go to bed and hide under the covers. Cross your fingers that I'll wake up tomorrow without feeling like death! :D
I'm assuming it's mostly caffeine withdrawals but I also haven't had any carbs (other than fruit) since Saturday so who knows. The Whole30 "timeline" says that most people feel like dookie (yeah I said it) on days 2 and 3, so it's nice to know I'm right on schedule! (BARF!)
The sucky part is that caffeine isn't a no-no on Whole30 -- it's just that all of my preferred vehicles for said caffeine are no-nos. No soda, obviously... coffee is okay but only without cream/milk or sweetener, which is a non-starter for me. And tea is okay but a) I'm not particularly a fan of tea, and b) the one flavor of tea I actually enjoy is decaffeinated. Argh.
Aside from the headache, which has been at about a 7/10 most of the day, I had this weird bout of nausea mid-day and ended up not really eating my lunch. It was weird... I heated it up and then as I went to take a bite of it, the thought of ingesting any of it made me want to hurl. It was the leftovers from last night's dinner, which, gotta say, weren't my absolute fave, so hopefully it was just that and not some weird reaction to eating decent human food.
Also, the cravings have started. Now, let me preface this by saying that for the past several months, I haven't really craved much of anything, ever. Like, some food tastes good, and other food doesn't, but there hasn't usually been anything that I'm like "OMG gotta have it!", for the most part. But today? Wimpy little day TWO into this program? I want everything. A grilled cheese sandwich, a turkey sandwich, macaroni and cheese, and of all things, low-sugar instant oatmeal. Peaches & Cream flavor. (I don't know. I just don't.)
NO, I haven't acted on any of these crazy cravings. I did, however, up my water intake by about 300% over what it has been the past few weeks...so there's that. Still need to be drinking more but I'll get there!
What I Ate:
Breakfast: homemade chicken salad (with my homemade mayo, BOOYAH) and about a cup of strawberries.
Lunch: I attempted to eat leftover spicy meatballs and broccoli, but that didn't happen, so I had a baggie-full of cucumbers and bell pepper strips. Not my best work.
Dinner: Pulled chicken with salsa, with half an avocado and a heaping dose of Cholula. And some carrots and grape tomatoes.
Verdict: The chicken salad was okay but it's taking some getting used to to eat non-breakfast foods for breakfast. I'm already sick of eggs though and I've only eaten them for one day, lol. Lunch was an epic failure and I'm sure it contributed to me feeling like shit for the rest of the day because I was essentially operating on fumes; Dinner was a wild success! It was DELICIOUS, easy, and DELICIOUS. (Did I mention that it was delicious?) I'm actually really excited to eat leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Avocado added the perfect touch of... something... that made it taste even better. And if you know me at all you know that any meal is made better with a gigantic bottle of Cholula.
How I Feel:
Pretty gross, honestly. Like I'm hungover from a three-day bender. This is particularly frustrating because I don't really drink, and rarely get hangovers.
Not gonna lie, my enthusiasm for this has ebbed slightly over yesterday, but I'm still not anywhere near giving in. I think that we're in a learning curve still, trying to get used to what we can and can't eat, and how much we need to plan to be eating, etc., but I know we'll get there.
Now... I really just want to go to bed and hide under the covers. Cross your fingers that I'll wake up tomorrow without feeling like death! :D
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Whole30: Day 1 -- Starting Off on the Right Foot
Welcome, friends!
Today, Derek and I started the Whole30 program. This program has required a lot of major changes for us, so to keep us accountable (and just to keep track of it all for posterity's sake), I'm planning to post every day on how it's going, how I'm feeling, and any observations I've had.
So without further ado, let's get started!
Day 1
Derek and I started out the day by taking our "before" pictures and weighing in. We've decided to keep these to ourselves until the end, when we can do a side-by-side comparison. The Whole30 program recommends that you weigh-in at the beginning and the end, but not during, because you get so caught up on a number that you're not focusing on how you're feeling and the good choices you're making. Honey, you don't have to tell ME twice. I hate that damn scale. See you in 30 days, BIATCH. ;)
So, as part of this new leaf we're turning over, we've decided to make a few changes to the way we run our household, so to speak. Sundays are now our meal planning and prep days. You see, one of the biggest problems that Derek and I have, a problem that is probably even worse than our food choices (I'll get to that), is that we are lazy. We buy the groceries, but we don't eat them because it takes work to prepare them. We get home so late in the evening after a grueling commute home that we almost never actually WANT to cook dinner, so it has to be something quick. Well, we tend to have varying definitions on what a quick at-home meal is. Sometimes we'll whip up something good; most times, though, it means we're picking up drive-through on our way home or eating eleventy-five (homemade) tacos. Come on, Hackleys! D'oh! (The reason I said that this is a bigger problem than what we're eating is solely because we both enjoy good, healthy food. It's not solely about us preferring the nasty food and eschewing the nutritious; no, we eat crap because it's easier. It's shameful, but it's true).
Anyway, to combat this, we've vowed that from here on out, Sunday is our day to prep our food for the week as much as possible. Grocery shopping will be done Saturday mornings, and then Sunday, we cook it, cut it, put it into individual containers... whatever it takes so that once the week is fully under way, we don't have excuses.
So, today we made three days' worth of dinners/lunches, and got all the fruits and veggies prepared to grab and go. We even made MAYONNAISE from scratch (commercially-prepared mayonnaise typically adds sugar, which is a Whole30 no-no, or uses soybean oil - also forbidden)! Who does that!?! Apparently the Hackleys, that's who.
Lookie! Our healthy fridge and the meals we pre-made today. :) Top: Pulled chicken and salsa; Middle: the Spicy meatballs; Bottom: meat sauce (that we'll serve over zucchini noodles!)
We had a really, really productive day and I'm mega proud of us.
Here's what we ate:
Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs and a cup of strawberries
Lunch: salads from Whole Foods' salad bar with Tessemae's salad dressing (Whole30 approved); I had two hard-boiled eggs in mine for protein; Derek had a grilled chicken breast.
Dinner: Spicy meatballs with a steamed veggie mix (broccoli, carrots, water chestnuts, sugar snaps)
Here's how I feel:
Motivated. Proud. Nervous. Good.
We are really doing this. I am not pretending that this is going to be a cakewalk (mmm...cake...) but at this moment, I feel like we can do it. Ask me again when the caffeine withdrawal kicks in... ;)
I'm nervous because I'm also currently on my cycle...so I'm already moody, cranky, in pain, and not feeling too hot. Perhaps I picked the worst time to start this.... lol. Oh well, no turning back now! :)
Stay tuned for Day 2!
Today, Derek and I started the Whole30 program. This program has required a lot of major changes for us, so to keep us accountable (and just to keep track of it all for posterity's sake), I'm planning to post every day on how it's going, how I'm feeling, and any observations I've had.
So without further ado, let's get started!
Day 1
Derek and I started out the day by taking our "before" pictures and weighing in. We've decided to keep these to ourselves until the end, when we can do a side-by-side comparison. The Whole30 program recommends that you weigh-in at the beginning and the end, but not during, because you get so caught up on a number that you're not focusing on how you're feeling and the good choices you're making. Honey, you don't have to tell ME twice. I hate that damn scale. See you in 30 days, BIATCH. ;)
So, as part of this new leaf we're turning over, we've decided to make a few changes to the way we run our household, so to speak. Sundays are now our meal planning and prep days. You see, one of the biggest problems that Derek and I have, a problem that is probably even worse than our food choices (I'll get to that), is that we are lazy. We buy the groceries, but we don't eat them because it takes work to prepare them. We get home so late in the evening after a grueling commute home that we almost never actually WANT to cook dinner, so it has to be something quick. Well, we tend to have varying definitions on what a quick at-home meal is. Sometimes we'll whip up something good; most times, though, it means we're picking up drive-through on our way home or eating eleventy-five (homemade) tacos. Come on, Hackleys! D'oh! (The reason I said that this is a bigger problem than what we're eating is solely because we both enjoy good, healthy food. It's not solely about us preferring the nasty food and eschewing the nutritious; no, we eat crap because it's easier. It's shameful, but it's true).
Anyway, to combat this, we've vowed that from here on out, Sunday is our day to prep our food for the week as much as possible. Grocery shopping will be done Saturday mornings, and then Sunday, we cook it, cut it, put it into individual containers... whatever it takes so that once the week is fully under way, we don't have excuses.
So, today we made three days' worth of dinners/lunches, and got all the fruits and veggies prepared to grab and go. We even made MAYONNAISE from scratch (commercially-prepared mayonnaise typically adds sugar, which is a Whole30 no-no, or uses soybean oil - also forbidden)! Who does that!?! Apparently the Hackleys, that's who.
Lookie! Our healthy fridge and the meals we pre-made today. :) Top: Pulled chicken and salsa; Middle: the Spicy meatballs; Bottom: meat sauce (that we'll serve over zucchini noodles!)
We had a really, really productive day and I'm mega proud of us.
Here's what we ate:
Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs and a cup of strawberries
Lunch: salads from Whole Foods' salad bar with Tessemae's salad dressing (Whole30 approved); I had two hard-boiled eggs in mine for protein; Derek had a grilled chicken breast.
Dinner: Spicy meatballs with a steamed veggie mix (broccoli, carrots, water chestnuts, sugar snaps)
Here's how I feel:
Motivated. Proud. Nervous. Good.
We are really doing this. I am not pretending that this is going to be a cakewalk (mmm...cake...) but at this moment, I feel like we can do it. Ask me again when the caffeine withdrawal kicks in... ;)
I'm nervous because I'm also currently on my cycle...so I'm already moody, cranky, in pain, and not feeling too hot. Perhaps I picked the worst time to start this.... lol. Oh well, no turning back now! :)
Stay tuned for Day 2!
Overdue Update and Starting Over...Whole30 Style
Phew. I'm glad to be back. And boy, do I have a lot to say!
Let's just say that this post has been a long time coming. My last entry in here was October of last year. It should go without saying that a LOT has happened since then. So... I'll stop babbling and get to it!
My Health
If you recall from the last few posts I made, or have been following me on FB, you know that the medical drama that started in October 2013 still hasn't completely subsided.
Quick recap: In October, I had been seeing my primary care doctor because I was having unexplained, non-severe chest pain. Went through a battery of tests (CT scans, abdominal ultrasound, holter monitor, stress test, EKG, cardiac ultrasound...) all to find that my heart is perfectly healthy and there's no real reason or cause for my chest pains. In my last entry, I mentioned my hypothesis that they were being caused by the Metformin; I mentioned this to my doc and although it's not a known side effect, she was perfectly happy taking me off of it. The chest pains went away. They've come and go a few times since then but I've more accurately pinpointed the cause to anxiety. I tend to have them on days that I'm really wound up/worried about something. The problem was, way back then, that I would be worked up about the chest pains and panicking about them, so I'd get more pains. Once I got the all clear that I really am not dying of a heart tumor (hint: you can't actually get one of those), the anxiety subsided and so did the pain. So, that was that.
However, around the time that that all came to pass, I went to Pennsylvania to visit family and go to Colorfest in Thurmont, Maryland. I came home, and the next day felt pretty awful, dizzy, and just...not right. It stuck around several days and I decided to go back to the doctor. Long story short, I got shuttled around from doctor to doctor, including two Urgent Care doctors, my PCP, a sleep doctor, an ENT, and a rheumatologist. I had tons of bloodwork and tests, took a buttload of antibiotics, and nothing really worked. PCP tried to order a head CT to rule out anything crazy (even though I didn't have any symptoms that presented like something like that) but insurance wouldn't approve it.
In the process, I found out (in January) that I have sleep apnea. I've kept that under wraps until, well, NOW, because I'm actually pretty embarrassed by it. To me, it is a further mark of my failure to stay healthy and I didn't really want anyone to know. But... well... I guess it had to come out eventually. I've been using a CPAP machine at night since February and though I was under the assumption that it would help with my sleepiness, it has not. I still use it, but the sleepiness is still a huge battle. Still no diagnosis for the dizziness.
Through this whole mess, I was also diagnosed with a few allergies, including a couple of trees, some weeds, dust, and both dogs and cats. All of them were very minor allergies though and I a) have not been taking allergy shots or anything for them and b) have not given up my four-legged friends. I don't have reactions that are worth noting so I don't see the point. Still no diagnosis for the dizziness.
ENT noticed a whole buncha junk in my sinuses but there really wasn't any discussion about doing anything about it just yet.
Then, I was sent to the rheumatologist because my ENT thought that my dizziness might be an inner ear disorder because I also have tinnitis (ringing in the ears). My hearing tested fine, though, so he was (and still pretty much is, stumped). The rheumatologist, however, ran a metric ton of bloodwork and couldn't find anything that would indicate any real kind of autoimmune disorder such as this inner ear disorder. While I was visiting her though we did get to talking about some of my joint pains, and how I hadn't mentioned them to any other doctor because, well, I just assumed that they were weight-related, so the obvious answer was going to be to lose weight. DUH, TRYING. Anyway, in that bloodwork that the rheum ran, my inflammation markers were elevated, which indicated that there was SOMETHING going on that could explain the joint pain other than my weight.
However, I don't have enough symptoms of any one rheumatological disorder (like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, etc.) to be diagnosed with one, so the diagnosis is going with right now is "Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease". Essentially, this means exactly what I just said -- I don't have enough to be diagnosed with one, but I have enough to be diagnosed with something. I may gain more symptoms and eventually have a diagnosis of something else; I may never get more symptoms and stay diagnosed with UCTD.
She started me on a medication that is meant to reduce inflammation and it seems to be working because after 2 months, one of my inflammation markers hasn't moved much (but hasn't gone up) and the other one has gone from really high to being at the top range of normal for my age. So... we're sticking with it for now.
The dizziness still comes and goes, but is mostly gone, thankfully. My hypothesis is that it's sinus related because it's worst when I am having problems breathing through my nose, or when the weather is particularly bad, or just overall have a ton of sinus pressure. The good news is that Claritin-D usually clears up my sinuses pretty well and relieves the dizziness; the bad news is that it also disrupts my sleep (even if I take it first thing in the morning) and I wake up like every 20 minutes feeling like I'm having an anxiety attack. So... I use a saline nasal spray and sleep at like a 45 degree angle to the bed.
So... that's about it for the update on my health. Now for what you all REALLY came for...
Starting Over, Whole30 Style
Most of you probably saw the status I posted last week about how Derek and I would be starting the Whole30 in an attempt to get ourselves closer to healthy.
I totally recommend checking out the website for Whole30 to learn more about, but the general idea is that you cut out the foods that cause inflammation, weight gain, intestinal problems, etc. So, for 30 days, no grains, no legumes, no soy, no dairy, no sugars (real or artificial). The goal is to "reset" your system and flush out all the junk by focusing on proteins, veggies, and (healthy) fats. Also, since you're resetting your system, you also reset the way you view food; the ways and reasons you eat and what, if anything, you're doing wrong. (Hint: I'm doing a lot wrong.) It's not a diet by any means; it's the kickstart to a lifestyle. That sounds so cliche but that's really the best way to describe it. Once the Whole30 is over, you can slowly add back the foods that you've eliminated, one by one, to see if you can find which ones trigger the ill effects. For some people it's all grains, for some it's just corn, for some it's dairy, etc. Derek and I plan to switch to a Paleo diet after the Whole30, which is similar but not quite as strict. If you're unfamiliar with that, the gist of Paleo is that you eat the way cavemen eat. Limited/no processed foods, no dairy, etc.
So... why am I doing this? I have a few good reasons:
1) I am very overweight. I have a LOT of weight to lose and it has been VERY hard to lose it (and very easy to gain it) due to my PCOS. (That's a real thing. I didn't make it up.) I'm not comfortable sharing numbers yet because I'm so ashamed, but suffice it to say that I've GAINED more weight than is reasonable even considering my crappy diet. The Whole30 isn't designed as a weight loss program, but participants do typically lose a not-insignificant amount of weight. Any little bit will help me. Also, Whole30 has a track record of helping women with PCOS to overcome the barriers to weight loss by eliminating the foods that causes our insulin resistance (read: carbs/grains) and having us rely on the foods that work well for us (proteins and veggies).
2) I feel like shit, y'all. I don't get around very well right now -- I'm constantly achy and tired; my joints pop and twist and make noises that no human body parts should make under duress. Derek and I moved to a beautiful neighborhood and have talked about taking walks and being more active but I just do not have it in me. I try. I really want to do it, I want to move more... but it's like someone is telling me to run a marathon with a Mack truck tied to my back. I used to think that this was solely me being lazy and unmotivated but the visits to the rheumatologist have confirmed that it's not just me, and it's not just my weight. Sure, losing weight will help, but the inflammation is not caused by my weight. As of right now we don't know WHAT it's caused by, but there's a pretty good chance it's caused by what I eat. On top of that, Again, Whole30 eliminates the foods that cause this inflammation and fatigue. With any luck, I should feel better and have more energy by the end.
3) I still have my health, mostly. Other than the two things above....I'm healthy. All my bloodwork is normal. My kidneys and liver work, my blood pressure and blood sugar are good. Let's call a spade a spade here: I am really, REALLY fucking lucky. I have done terrible things to my body for decades now and somehow it has not caught up with me yet. But I am not getting younger, y'all. I am nearly 31 years old. My dad died at 35 of a heart attack. Granted, his heart attack was attributed to his alcoholism, not his weight/diet, but still. It is not lost on me that when my dad was my age, he had FOUR years left. I didn't even fucking finish COLLEGE in four years; I sure as hell don't want just that long to finish my LIFE. I got more shit to do and things to be and most importantly, I need more years with Derek. I promised him forever; forever isn't supposed to be before the end of the decade. I'm not going to be this lucky forever so I REALLY need to get my butt in gear. RIGHT NOW. Or like, yesterday, actually. But I digress.
Anyway, that explains what I'm up to... stay tuned. For the next 30 days while I tackle this Whole30 journey with Derek, I'm going to attempt to post a blog entry every day detailing my progress and how I'm feeling. Day 1 is TODAY so that one will be coming up! (Don't worry -- THOSE entries shouldn't be quite as long and boring. :)
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