You know the drill... first the deets:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 282.4
This Week: 282.2
Net Loss: -0.2
Loss-to-Date: -8.1
Okay, so these aren't exactly earth-shatteringly exciting numbers. But, it's a loss, and considering how much I wibble-wobbled (I've decided that this is a perfectly valid phrase) this week, I'll take it. I frickin' had chinese food for dinner last night. I should've posted a 5 pound gain just on the basis of my sodium intake alone. But alas, I somehow got lucky and I will not complain. I will, however, do better this week.
Usually I spend my weekly posts analyzing what I did that week or complaining about how hard this is. For the most part I think that's necessary because I can go back later and see what my trends are. For example, I know that the weeks where I gain are the weeks where I've eaten out too much (or sometimes at all), and the weeks where I lose the most are the ones where I've had, obviously, better food, but I had a more positive attitude. Those things are vital for me to stay on track and keep going. However, I know that it can get pretty old for those of you who are reading this from the outside, so I'm going to try to change it up. I'm going to try and think of actual topics for my posts as opposed to just vent sessions. I started out kind of doing thing but ran out of ideas, haha. I shall try again!
So this week, I decided I wanted to talk about where some of my motivation for not eating out has come from: Pinterest! In the beginning, Pinterest was primarily a method for me to pin Christmas decorating ideas and homemade gifts, and baked goods. Ooohhhhhh the baked goods. I started occasionally pinning real meal ideas and things sort of took off from there. Now I have 18 different boards (see for yourself -- click the link!) where I pin everything from craft ideas to funny quotes to desserts to books I want to read. But since I've had the account, the board that has become the most important to me is my "If My Kitchen Were Bigger, I'd Cook Every Day" board. This is the board where I pin the things that I see that look tasty enough for me to try and put into rotation on Derek and I's weekly menu. There are several things on that board that I'll probably never cook because they're just wayyyy too fat-kid, and they're there because they'd be yummy in theory. But for the most part, all of the recipes are ones that are either good for me by nature or can be made better. And, I've finally gotten slightly more organized and created another board for the Recipes I've Tried. It has a long way to go, as there are only 15 pins on it so far (and some of those are ones that I'm planning to try soon -- as in, they're already on a menu plan), but it'll be pretty useful in identifying the things we liked and didn't like, and maybe even giving ideas to any of my friends who want to take a look at what I've cooked for their own inspiration.
I have a billion and fifty cookbooks that cover a variety of 'genres' of cooking: healthy, slow cooker, quick & easy, Weight Watchers, Joy of Cooking, Mexican, Italian, Asian... you name it, I probably have it in cookbook form. But Pinterest offers some things that cookbooks can't. First of all, I'm a very visual person. I'm one of those people that really does judge a book by its cover. I have a hard time deciding if a recipe is going to be tasty if I can't see what it looks like. Pinterest helps with that. For one thing, several of the cookbooks I've accumulated don't have pictures of every recipe (if any -- I'm looking at you, Joy of Cooking!). This leads to me skipping over recipes that may be really good because I just can't visualize what it will taste like (I'll give you a minute to simmer on how ridiculous that sounds). For another thing, most Pinterest pins are actual photos of the recipe as it's prepared... typically by one of hundreds of bloggers far more ambitious than I. Not only do I typically get step-by-step photos of what things should look like at each part of the recipe, but I know that the photo of the end result is far more likely to closely resemble what I end up with. Yeah, they use creative lighting and really awesome cameras, and somehow all of them maintain a sparkling clean kitchen while I end up with every dish I own in the sink... and they can "style" their food to make it look good, but have you ever actually seen how cookbook photos are taken? Sometimes the food they photograph isn't even cooked completely... or there are fillers in it to make it look bigger and heartier... there are essentially makeup artists for food. It's essentially akin to comparing magazine photos to Facebook photos. The photos in cookbooks aren't food, they're props. Photoshopped. Cleaned up. Your average food blogger doesn't have time in her day to perfectly stage a meal she's just spent hours preparing and photographing and writing about. It's more real. And I happen to like real.
Secondly, on Pinterest you can tell by how many times it's been pinned how popular it is...which is a better indicator that it's actually a really good recipe. Granted, there are probably thousands of people just like me who pin recipes that look delicious and never actually cook them, but there are always a few people who have prepared the recipe and left comments -- either on Pinterest or on a blog -- about how delicious it is, or what it was missing and how to make it better. This is incredibly valuable information because it means I don't have to spend money on food that may not be what I was hoping for it to be.
The bottom line is that Pinterest has helped me make great strides in preparing our meal plan each week and sticking to it. At least for the most part, anyway. And this is without mentioning all the great ideas I've gotten from Pinterest for preparing meals ahead of time or bulk preparing meals to keep in my (teeny tiny) freezer. If you're not using Pinterest to its full potential, you should be! :)
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Mid-Week Update: Trying to Stay Focused
I'm starting to think the key to my success is talking about it more. I know, that sounds weird, and frankly I can't imagine why anyone would want to listen to me whine about how much sodium is in a bowl of Ramen. However, I've noticed that on Saturday afternoons or Sundays, right after I've posted my weekly weigh-in, I feel the most motivated because a) I feel like I'm being accountable to myself and other people, and b) some of you guys give me some really great advice and/or encouragement. The challenge is knowing what to write about in that second weekly post without it turning into a bitch session or just complaining about how life is so hard. I guess it can't hurt to give it a shot, though.
This week has been a little rough so far, but I'm not counting out a loss just yet. Derek and I have been a little lazy in the making lunch department this week and due to that and some good old fashioned peer pressure, I've made a couple of pretty shitty choices. Monday, I didn't have a lunch prepared and my coworker invited me to come along with her for lunch on her hunt for french fries. Obviously, I knew this was a bad idea (for me -- I'm not in the business of judging others) but I decided I would tag along anyway because I already didn't have a lunch so I was going to have to go out anyway. I figured that wherever we went would have SOMETHING healthy I could eat so it'd be fine. Yeah, no. Not all that surprisingly, the area I work in in health-conscious Arlington County has a dearth of lunch-friendly options that offer french fries. We ended up at Jerry's Subs and I got a chicken cheesesteak. And fries. What the hell, Sarah. You're better than that!
I made up for it at dinner by having a huge salad and a very, very small portion of pasta (we made this, a recipe I found on pinterest). I only made enough for one serving for each of us, and as it turns out, I didn't really like it all that much (I'm the worst Italian alive and don't really like the taste of olive oil. Go figure) so I probably choked down about half of it before turning my undivided attention to my salad.
Then, yesterday, since there were no leftovers from the night before (not that I would've wanted to eat them anyway), I didn't have anything to bring, nor time to make something. I know, I know, I should've made something the night before, even a sandwich. Shhh... let me tell my story. Initially I planned to do something light, like a salad or a lighter sandwich (read: not a cheesesteak), but instead was magnetically drawn to the District Taco food truck where I got myself one of their big, honkin' $7 burritos that are better than Chipotle (don't tell Derek I said that) and ate THE WHOLE THING. What in the hell, Sarah. What in the actual hell.
Last night when we got home from work I wasn't feeling all that great (ya think?) so I wasn't in the mood for cooking. We had planned to make oven-baked fajitas (another Pinterest recipe!) but with feeling icky I just couldn't get there. I AM happy to report, though, that I stood my ground on not ordering dinner or otherwise eating out, and instead had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.... and a bowl of ramen. Apparently I'm having flashbacks to college. I know the salt content of ramen is out of control awful, but it hit the spot and I feel like I still could've done much worse. I could have had ramen with a side of cheesesteak. Ack.
Today is another challenge. We didn't cook anything, and although I was tempted, I didn't bring another pb&j to lunch today. I've already been researching where I want to go for a big honkin' salad (because I've been craving one for weeks now)... and I think I have some options narrowed down.
I know I need to do better and I'm hoping that I can use the rest of the week to get it right. I'm not giving up on seeing a loss on that scale this week... but I guess I should prepare myself -- and you all, my loyal readers -- for the worst, and the bitchfest that follows.
So I guess my question is this... how do I make bringing work to lunch more fun? Usually, when I have leftovers of something, it's not a problem. I pre-pack them after dinner so all we have to do in the morning is grab and go... but when I don't cook, I end up giving up and buying lunch because I just don't see any other choice. Sandwiches I make at home are never as good as ones bought elsewhere. Also, I hate 99.9% of those frozen lunch things like Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones and stuff -- it feels like I'm not eating actual food, I'm just eating flavored cardboard. Besides, whatever is added to those things to make them survive the freezer can't be good for you. How do I get un-lazy and re-motivated to make a yummy, interesting, quick lunch that will keep me from ruining my progress... and my bank account?
This week has been a little rough so far, but I'm not counting out a loss just yet. Derek and I have been a little lazy in the making lunch department this week and due to that and some good old fashioned peer pressure, I've made a couple of pretty shitty choices. Monday, I didn't have a lunch prepared and my coworker invited me to come along with her for lunch on her hunt for french fries. Obviously, I knew this was a bad idea (for me -- I'm not in the business of judging others) but I decided I would tag along anyway because I already didn't have a lunch so I was going to have to go out anyway. I figured that wherever we went would have SOMETHING healthy I could eat so it'd be fine. Yeah, no. Not all that surprisingly, the area I work in in health-conscious Arlington County has a dearth of lunch-friendly options that offer french fries. We ended up at Jerry's Subs and I got a chicken cheesesteak. And fries. What the hell, Sarah. You're better than that!
I made up for it at dinner by having a huge salad and a very, very small portion of pasta (we made this, a recipe I found on pinterest). I only made enough for one serving for each of us, and as it turns out, I didn't really like it all that much (I'm the worst Italian alive and don't really like the taste of olive oil. Go figure) so I probably choked down about half of it before turning my undivided attention to my salad.
Then, yesterday, since there were no leftovers from the night before (not that I would've wanted to eat them anyway), I didn't have anything to bring, nor time to make something. I know, I know, I should've made something the night before, even a sandwich. Shhh... let me tell my story. Initially I planned to do something light, like a salad or a lighter sandwich (read: not a cheesesteak), but instead was magnetically drawn to the District Taco food truck where I got myself one of their big, honkin' $7 burritos that are better than Chipotle (don't tell Derek I said that) and ate THE WHOLE THING. What in the hell, Sarah. What in the actual hell.
Last night when we got home from work I wasn't feeling all that great (ya think?) so I wasn't in the mood for cooking. We had planned to make oven-baked fajitas (another Pinterest recipe!) but with feeling icky I just couldn't get there. I AM happy to report, though, that I stood my ground on not ordering dinner or otherwise eating out, and instead had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.... and a bowl of ramen. Apparently I'm having flashbacks to college. I know the salt content of ramen is out of control awful, but it hit the spot and I feel like I still could've done much worse. I could have had ramen with a side of cheesesteak. Ack.
Today is another challenge. We didn't cook anything, and although I was tempted, I didn't bring another pb&j to lunch today. I've already been researching where I want to go for a big honkin' salad (because I've been craving one for weeks now)... and I think I have some options narrowed down.
I know I need to do better and I'm hoping that I can use the rest of the week to get it right. I'm not giving up on seeing a loss on that scale this week... but I guess I should prepare myself -- and you all, my loyal readers -- for the worst, and the bitchfest that follows.
So I guess my question is this... how do I make bringing work to lunch more fun? Usually, when I have leftovers of something, it's not a problem. I pre-pack them after dinner so all we have to do in the morning is grab and go... but when I don't cook, I end up giving up and buying lunch because I just don't see any other choice. Sandwiches I make at home are never as good as ones bought elsewhere. Also, I hate 99.9% of those frozen lunch things like Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones and stuff -- it feels like I'm not eating actual food, I'm just eating flavored cardboard. Besides, whatever is added to those things to make them survive the freezer can't be good for you. How do I get un-lazy and re-motivated to make a yummy, interesting, quick lunch that will keep me from ruining my progress... and my bank account?
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Some Good News and a Mini-Milestone
As usual, let's start with the details:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 284.9
This Week: 282.4
Net Loss: -2.5
Loss-to-Date: -7.9
Yay! Two weeks in a row with a loss. I would've loved to see a bigger one, but I know that's just not something my body can apparently do. I'm happy to see this number go down, but part of me is hesitant to get excited about it because it's almost as though I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop... Like, yeah, it's a loss now, but next week I'll probably gain 3 and all my progress will be lost so why should I bother getting excited about it? I can't decide if this line of thinking is good or not. On one hand, I should celebrate my successes, no matter how small; on the other hand, being realistic that this isn't a gravy train and I have to work hard for every ounce I lose, thereby not letting myself get TOO celebratory and fall off the wagon (which has happened before) is probably in my favor. I guess I should just call this "cautious optimism". Go me.
This weigh-in brings a miniature milestone of sorts. I was looking back through my log since I started (this time...) and this is the lowest I've been since I started this. It sounds like a given... but my numbers have fluctuated so much since I started that that's not actually true. My lowest prior to this was 282.6 at the February 2nd weigh-in.
My next mini-celebration will be when I finally get out of the 280s once and for all. With another loss like this week's, I could see that number next week! That's something to look forward to, right?
Anyway, I attribute my success this week to a renewed and fervent desire to cook. We've cooked every meal this week, and while we didn't have leftovers to take to lunch every day, on those days I made makeshift lunches out of fruit and other healthy snacks (mostly fruit). It wasn't that much, but it was enough to tide me over until dinner time. We cooked every evening and I'm very proud of that. Also I'm proud of the fact that last Sunday I made macaroons to take to work for my coworkers (story time: we always have a cake or something of some sort for birthdays... usually my boss buys it from Whole Foods but a couple weeks ago, one of our coworkers was having a birthday and I volunteered to make cupcakes. Well, another one of my coworkers recently discovered she has a gluten sensitivity and has gone gluten-free, so any time we have these cakes -- or any other treats brought in for any other purpose -- she literally just sniffs at them and walks away. I felt really bad about this, so I decided to make macaroons -- her birthday isn't until October but there's been months and months of treats she couldn't eat. Macaroons are delicious, gluten-free, and crowd-pleasing, so they were enjoyed by everyone... which is why I didn't try to de-glutenize a standard flour-laden recipe. Sometimes those don't work out so well, lol.). Anyway, I managed to mostly keep my hands out of them (though I did have to sample my own work, of course!) and I'm pretty proud of that. Got some rave reviews though so I may have to make them again.
I guess I could pontificate some more on what made me successful this week but I think instead I'm just going to start focusing on not taking it for granted. I think a lot of times we (okay, I) get so excited about a success that I stop trying, kinda feeling like "I got this". Honestly, I feel like this holds true for most people, in most situations, not just weight loss. We get smug when we win something or are successful or are otherwise praised or complimented, and we somehow instantly forget all the hard work it required... we rest on our laurels and then before you know it, our progress is lost because we didn't maintain the effort. I think I'm going to try to stop taking all of my successes for granted, not just weight loss. Maybe that's a lesson we all should learn?
On that note -- have a great week everyone! <3
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 284.9
This Week: 282.4
Net Loss: -2.5
Loss-to-Date: -7.9
Yay! Two weeks in a row with a loss. I would've loved to see a bigger one, but I know that's just not something my body can apparently do. I'm happy to see this number go down, but part of me is hesitant to get excited about it because it's almost as though I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop... Like, yeah, it's a loss now, but next week I'll probably gain 3 and all my progress will be lost so why should I bother getting excited about it? I can't decide if this line of thinking is good or not. On one hand, I should celebrate my successes, no matter how small; on the other hand, being realistic that this isn't a gravy train and I have to work hard for every ounce I lose, thereby not letting myself get TOO celebratory and fall off the wagon (which has happened before) is probably in my favor. I guess I should just call this "cautious optimism". Go me.
This weigh-in brings a miniature milestone of sorts. I was looking back through my log since I started (this time...) and this is the lowest I've been since I started this. It sounds like a given... but my numbers have fluctuated so much since I started that that's not actually true. My lowest prior to this was 282.6 at the February 2nd weigh-in.
My next mini-celebration will be when I finally get out of the 280s once and for all. With another loss like this week's, I could see that number next week! That's something to look forward to, right?
Anyway, I attribute my success this week to a renewed and fervent desire to cook. We've cooked every meal this week, and while we didn't have leftovers to take to lunch every day, on those days I made makeshift lunches out of fruit and other healthy snacks (mostly fruit). It wasn't that much, but it was enough to tide me over until dinner time. We cooked every evening and I'm very proud of that. Also I'm proud of the fact that last Sunday I made macaroons to take to work for my coworkers (story time: we always have a cake or something of some sort for birthdays... usually my boss buys it from Whole Foods but a couple weeks ago, one of our coworkers was having a birthday and I volunteered to make cupcakes. Well, another one of my coworkers recently discovered she has a gluten sensitivity and has gone gluten-free, so any time we have these cakes -- or any other treats brought in for any other purpose -- she literally just sniffs at them and walks away. I felt really bad about this, so I decided to make macaroons -- her birthday isn't until October but there's been months and months of treats she couldn't eat. Macaroons are delicious, gluten-free, and crowd-pleasing, so they were enjoyed by everyone... which is why I didn't try to de-glutenize a standard flour-laden recipe. Sometimes those don't work out so well, lol.). Anyway, I managed to mostly keep my hands out of them (though I did have to sample my own work, of course!) and I'm pretty proud of that. Got some rave reviews though so I may have to make them again.
I guess I could pontificate some more on what made me successful this week but I think instead I'm just going to start focusing on not taking it for granted. I think a lot of times we (okay, I) get so excited about a success that I stop trying, kinda feeling like "I got this". Honestly, I feel like this holds true for most people, in most situations, not just weight loss. We get smug when we win something or are successful or are otherwise praised or complimented, and we somehow instantly forget all the hard work it required... we rest on our laurels and then before you know it, our progress is lost because we didn't maintain the effort. I think I'm going to try to stop taking all of my successes for granted, not just weight loss. Maybe that's a lesson we all should learn?
On that note -- have a great week everyone! <3
Saturday, April 13, 2013
I Don't Even Know Anymore...
Sorry for the week-long hiatus, ya'll. Last week's number was not pretty, and while I really didn't want to own up to it, mostly I just didn't know what to say. But I've never been anything but forthcoming and honest on this blog and I didn't want to start picking and choosing what I share. That's not fair. So... I'm fessing up, and then picking up where I left off with this week's weigh in.
First, last week's dreadful weigh-in:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 283.5
This Week: 286.9
Net Loss: +3.4
Loss-to-Date: -3.4
And this week's less dreadful weigh-in:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 286.9
This Week: 284.9
Net Loss: -2.0
Loss-to-Date: -5.4
I just don't even know. The only thing I can say about last week's massive gain is a) I don't know how it's possible that I ate over TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND calories more than I burned, and b) it's punishment for the loss over the course of my wedding/honeymoon.
I'm honestly stumped here. We weren't perfect that week but we cooked more and made much better choices than you'd expect someone to have made if they told you they gained three pounds.
I'm glad to see the number going back in the right direction this week but I was kinda hoping it was a fluke and that this week's number would've been lower than my weigh-in two weeks ago. I guess I was hoping I could just pretend last week didn't exist.
To say that I'm bummed is the understatement of the century. It's really frustrating and if I'm being brutally honest, it makes me want to give up. This shouldn't be happening. It'd be one thing if it was just my food intake and exercise (or lack thereof), but I'm on medication that is supposed to be making this easier!!! I am swallowing 1500mgs of a fucking chemical every single day that is supposed to make my body stop fighting itself and make it let go of this fat and it's not working. My dosage has already been increased once... does this mean I need to increase it again? And what does it mean for me if it just doesn't work?
I'm so tired. I'm tired of being fat, I'm tired of feeling unhealthy, I'm tired of being on the precipice of a million weight-related health problems, I'm tired of making good choices and having it be for naught. I don't know if I should be mad at myself, or mad at my biology, or mad at my scale, or what. It's just really, really frustrating.
And the worst part is that I want to throw in the towel sometimes but I know I can't. Aside from the whole "winners never quit" philosophy, and all the mushy, feel-goody reasons I should stick with it... I can't quit. I've paid more attention to how bad food makes me feel and I don't like it. I still falter and eat it sometimes, and then I regret it. If I gave up, I'd just be miserable all the time. But that knowledge apparently isn't helping me because even though over the past couple weeks even Derek has noticed that I've been taking smaller portions, picking better food to eat, and knowing when to say "I'm full, I'm not eating anymore" and push my plate away, I'm still not seeing the results I'd hoped for. Metformin was supposed to be my little miracle. I do the hard work of making the right food choices and trying to move more, and my little orange pills were supposed to make me lose more weight than I would without it. And if that's the case, what the hell would last week have looked like WITHOUT Metformin? Good lord, I don't even want to think about it.
I know I just have to get back on the horse. I don't really have a choice. At this point it's not even about being a go-getter and having a positive attitude... I honestly don't have a choice. I still have to make good food choices even though I just wanna fuckin curl up on the couch with a bowl of chocolate chip cookies and stay there forever. It's starting to not feel like this awesome, life-affirming, life-changing journey I'm on and more like punishment or a chore. Like a life sentence to never be able to eat without careful calculation ever again.
I know that I won't get anywhere if I don't try to see the bright side, but I'm struggling to see even a sliver of sunshine here. I guess I could say losing two pounds this week is a bright side, but not to me when I consider that I'm still over a pound up from where I was two weeks ago.
Argh. PCOS can go eff itself. And so can the 3.4 pounds I gained last week.
Back on the horse I go, I guess. :-\
First, last week's dreadful weigh-in:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 283.5
This Week: 286.9
Net Loss: +3.4
Loss-to-Date: -3.4
And this week's less dreadful weigh-in:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 286.9
This Week: 284.9
Net Loss: -2.0
Loss-to-Date: -5.4
I just don't even know. The only thing I can say about last week's massive gain is a) I don't know how it's possible that I ate over TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND calories more than I burned, and b) it's punishment for the loss over the course of my wedding/honeymoon.
I'm honestly stumped here. We weren't perfect that week but we cooked more and made much better choices than you'd expect someone to have made if they told you they gained three pounds.
I'm glad to see the number going back in the right direction this week but I was kinda hoping it was a fluke and that this week's number would've been lower than my weigh-in two weeks ago. I guess I was hoping I could just pretend last week didn't exist.
To say that I'm bummed is the understatement of the century. It's really frustrating and if I'm being brutally honest, it makes me want to give up. This shouldn't be happening. It'd be one thing if it was just my food intake and exercise (or lack thereof), but I'm on medication that is supposed to be making this easier!!! I am swallowing 1500mgs of a fucking chemical every single day that is supposed to make my body stop fighting itself and make it let go of this fat and it's not working. My dosage has already been increased once... does this mean I need to increase it again? And what does it mean for me if it just doesn't work?
I'm so tired. I'm tired of being fat, I'm tired of feeling unhealthy, I'm tired of being on the precipice of a million weight-related health problems, I'm tired of making good choices and having it be for naught. I don't know if I should be mad at myself, or mad at my biology, or mad at my scale, or what. It's just really, really frustrating.
And the worst part is that I want to throw in the towel sometimes but I know I can't. Aside from the whole "winners never quit" philosophy, and all the mushy, feel-goody reasons I should stick with it... I can't quit. I've paid more attention to how bad food makes me feel and I don't like it. I still falter and eat it sometimes, and then I regret it. If I gave up, I'd just be miserable all the time. But that knowledge apparently isn't helping me because even though over the past couple weeks even Derek has noticed that I've been taking smaller portions, picking better food to eat, and knowing when to say "I'm full, I'm not eating anymore" and push my plate away, I'm still not seeing the results I'd hoped for. Metformin was supposed to be my little miracle. I do the hard work of making the right food choices and trying to move more, and my little orange pills were supposed to make me lose more weight than I would without it. And if that's the case, what the hell would last week have looked like WITHOUT Metformin? Good lord, I don't even want to think about it.
I know I just have to get back on the horse. I don't really have a choice. At this point it's not even about being a go-getter and having a positive attitude... I honestly don't have a choice. I still have to make good food choices even though I just wanna fuckin curl up on the couch with a bowl of chocolate chip cookies and stay there forever. It's starting to not feel like this awesome, life-affirming, life-changing journey I'm on and more like punishment or a chore. Like a life sentence to never be able to eat without careful calculation ever again.
I know that I won't get anywhere if I don't try to see the bright side, but I'm struggling to see even a sliver of sunshine here. I guess I could say losing two pounds this week is a bright side, but not to me when I consider that I'm still over a pound up from where I was two weeks ago.
Argh. PCOS can go eff itself. And so can the 3.4 pounds I gained last week.
Back on the horse I go, I guess. :-\
Monday, April 1, 2013
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
And BOY do I have a lot to talk about! But first, the important stuff: my first weigh-in in about a month:
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 285.2
This Week: 283.5
Net Loss: -1.7
Loss-to-Date: -6.8
Holy moly, I was NOT expecting that!! Let's put it this way: I had posted a gain in my last weigh-in, and since then had all but completely fallen off the healthy wagon. Between Derek being out of town for work and me eating out of loneliness, to preparing for the wedding and eating from stress and not wanting to grocery shop/cook, to being on my honeymoon and eating because I felt entitled to because I was on my honeymoon... I didn't think I stood a chance of seeing a number that I'd be okay with, much less a loss! I do, however, have a couple theories as to why this happened, and I'll wrap it up in a summary of the wedding/honeymoon.
First, my wedding was AMAZING. I took the week before the wedding off work because I was sure that I was going to have SOMUCHTODO but Derek and I ended up finishing the majority of it by midweek, leaving just a few loose ends to take us into the weekend. Since I was at home, my plan was to only eat out if I was already out running errands but what actually happened is that most days I just FORGOT to eat until like 2:00 (or later) and didn't want to ruin dinner so I'd just eat a small-ish snack. Definitely not healthy and I don't recommend it at all, but I'd venture to guess that despite eating out for dinner all week, my calorie intake was on the low end. (Though having my hands in the leftover candy from the welcome bags didn't help that number at all, I'm sure!). The Friday before, I had a very small lunch from Wendy's while my girls and I got our nails done. Oh, and I forgot to mention -- Derek and I had put a temporary moratorium on our no-soda rule, so I had started drinking soda again... which, again, would've made weight loss seem unlikely. Anyway, between lunch (albeit small) from Wendy's and a buffet-style Italian rehearsal dinner, I knew I wasn't doing myself any favors.
The day of the wedding, I had a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast (provided by one of my lovely bridesmaids who went to Panera for all of us that morning!), and we ordered Jimmy John's for lunch. JJ's, if you're unfamiliar, is a delicious sub shop, that uses delicious bread, but only has white sub rolls (no wheat). I rarely (if ever) eat sandwiches on white bread anymore, so that was weird (but delicious!). Getting ready came together well, and the wedding went off without a hitch, but when it came time to eat dinner during our reception, I had absolutely zero interest. First of all, I picked our chicken dish, and it didn't taste as good as I remembered it during our tasting session... but moreso than that -- I just got MARRIED! How am I supposed to feel like eating!!??! I took about two bites, pawned half of the rest off on Derek (who begrudgingly obliged after cleaning his own plate), and went back to dancing and mingling and chatting with my favoritest people in the world. I didn't even eat a whole slice of our incredibly yummy wedding cake -- which is saying a lot because they sliced it VERY small. (Sorry, if you are reading this and were there! I had no idea they would cut it so small!) At the end of the night we went upstairs to our suite and were greeted by a bottle of (not-so-great) champagne and a plate of quite possibly the most delicious chocolate-covered strawberries I've ever had in my life. Seriously, I don't know what the hell they did to them (although I think part of it was that they used dark chocolate instead of milk) but it was like sugary delicious crack. But again, the excitement of the evening overruled everything else and even sugary crack couldn't keep my attention.
The next morning, after a quick breakfast in the hotel's restaurant, we gathered our stuff and after a couple of pit stops at the nearest Best Buy and our apartment, we were on our way to Baltimore for our first cruise. Derek and I had already decided that we didn't really want to be burdened with counting every Point+/calorie, or just in general stressing over what we were eating while we were on our honeymoon, in part because we had absolutely no idea what to expect our options to be. This turned out to be a wise decision because breakfast and lunch were served buffet-style, which meant not only was it readily available in whatever quantity we wanted it, but it was buffet-style food -- large quantities of...well... crap. Some of it was pretty okay but we stuck with a couple of standbys -- the "Grill" section that had hamburgers, french fries, chicken tenders, etc., and the pizza counter and ice cream machines that were open and available 24/7. Dinners in the ship's dining room/restaurant were much better. There were a few dinners that I didn't particularly care for, but still managed to not go to bed hungry (of course -- hunger is impossible on a cruise ship, I've learned). Somehow, though, throughout the whole trip, I managed to learn the art of realizing when I was no longer hungry and not eating anymore once I got that signal. It worked out pretty well, I think. Between the cruddy cafeteria food and learning to say "no", I think this contributed to why I ended up seeing a loss.
However, in my opinion, the biggest contributor to my "success" while on the ship was not a welcome contributor by any means. On Tuesday (note: the beginning of our trip), as we were eating lunch -- a hamburger and fries for me -- I realized it felt like there was something stuck between my back two molars on my left side. Upon further investigation with my tongue, I realized that my tooth had chipped! I rushed Derek back up to the room so I could check it out and sure enough, I pulled a piece of my own damn tooth out of my mouth! The tooth that chipped had been a little chipped prior and I hadn't had any problems, so despite freaking out that my tooth broke, I was hoping that it wouldn't cause any real issues. It didn't take long, though, to realize this would not be the case this time, as the remainder of my tooth was now sharp and though the tooth itself didn't hurt, it was rubbing against my tongue anytime I did, well, anything, and created a sore the size of a pencil eraser that was excruciating and made just about everything cry-worthy. Despite being on my honeymoon and being ridiculously happy to be married to the man I love, this really put a damper on my week, as not only was eating akin to torture, but so was everything else: spitting out toothpaste after brushing my teeth, kissing Derek, drinking anything (with or without a straw), talking... you name it. At one point I had a complete breakdown when Derek and I went to get a mid-afternoon snack and Derek had finished three slices of pizza and I was still struggling with one. I spent the rest of the week carefully chewing and swallowing on only one side of my mouth (not an easy feat, if you must know), and picking soft food that didn't need to be chewed or manipulated much. After that Tuesday afternoon, food lost most of its allure and my meal size went from average/slightly above average to "Is that really all you're going to eat?" Not. Fun. However, this probably made some difference when it came to seeing the number on the scale go down.
Thankfully, on Tuesday after we got back (after a full week of dealing with the torture), I found a dentist (no, I didn't already have one. Shhh!) and made appointments for both Derek and I for this coming weekend, April 6th. The woman I spoke to suggested that we stop by in advance to pick up the new patient paperwork (since they're actually located in the apartment building I live in -- there are medical suites on the ground floor), and since I had mentioned my poor broken tooth and my even poorer sore tongue, she said that they could smooth it down for me so I didn't have to suffer until our actual appointment! Woohoo! So, on Wednesday after work, Derek and I stopped by to get all the forms, and literally about a minute later, my tooth's jagged edge had been smoothed down! It was easier to eat almost right away, and a few days later the sore on my tongue had healed and now it's almost like nothing happened!
Anyway, we got home last Sunday and have pretty much eaten out all week. We didn't have time (or desire) to go grocery shopping and had little to nothing in the house. This... this in and of itself makes me go WTF to a 1.7 pound loss, but thankfully the useful skill of being done with my food before I feel like I need to be rolled away from the table like Violet in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory has helped a bit.
This Saturday (as in two days ago), after our weigh-ins, we went grocery shopping for the first time in probably a month. We planned out our dinners for the week and are officially back on the wagon. I'm officially off of soda again, but much more confident about it this time than last time because I know that I can do it and I know how much better I feel when I do (though I'm not looking forward to potential withdrawal headaches). We packed lunches today and will continue to do so throughout the week. And, now that the weather is getting nicer, we're looking forward to getting outside and getting our butts moving (although for the foreseeable future it looks like our butts will just be moving from our apartment to the laundry room and back. Oy.).
Stay tuned! :)
Starting Weight: 290.3
Last Weigh-in: 285.2
This Week: 283.5
Net Loss: -1.7
Loss-to-Date: -6.8
Holy moly, I was NOT expecting that!! Let's put it this way: I had posted a gain in my last weigh-in, and since then had all but completely fallen off the healthy wagon. Between Derek being out of town for work and me eating out of loneliness, to preparing for the wedding and eating from stress and not wanting to grocery shop/cook, to being on my honeymoon and eating because I felt entitled to because I was on my honeymoon... I didn't think I stood a chance of seeing a number that I'd be okay with, much less a loss! I do, however, have a couple theories as to why this happened, and I'll wrap it up in a summary of the wedding/honeymoon.
First, my wedding was AMAZING. I took the week before the wedding off work because I was sure that I was going to have SOMUCHTODO but Derek and I ended up finishing the majority of it by midweek, leaving just a few loose ends to take us into the weekend. Since I was at home, my plan was to only eat out if I was already out running errands but what actually happened is that most days I just FORGOT to eat until like 2:00 (or later) and didn't want to ruin dinner so I'd just eat a small-ish snack. Definitely not healthy and I don't recommend it at all, but I'd venture to guess that despite eating out for dinner all week, my calorie intake was on the low end. (Though having my hands in the leftover candy from the welcome bags didn't help that number at all, I'm sure!). The Friday before, I had a very small lunch from Wendy's while my girls and I got our nails done. Oh, and I forgot to mention -- Derek and I had put a temporary moratorium on our no-soda rule, so I had started drinking soda again... which, again, would've made weight loss seem unlikely. Anyway, between lunch (albeit small) from Wendy's and a buffet-style Italian rehearsal dinner, I knew I wasn't doing myself any favors.
The day of the wedding, I had a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast (provided by one of my lovely bridesmaids who went to Panera for all of us that morning!), and we ordered Jimmy John's for lunch. JJ's, if you're unfamiliar, is a delicious sub shop, that uses delicious bread, but only has white sub rolls (no wheat). I rarely (if ever) eat sandwiches on white bread anymore, so that was weird (but delicious!). Getting ready came together well, and the wedding went off without a hitch, but when it came time to eat dinner during our reception, I had absolutely zero interest. First of all, I picked our chicken dish, and it didn't taste as good as I remembered it during our tasting session... but moreso than that -- I just got MARRIED! How am I supposed to feel like eating!!??! I took about two bites, pawned half of the rest off on Derek (who begrudgingly obliged after cleaning his own plate), and went back to dancing and mingling and chatting with my favoritest people in the world. I didn't even eat a whole slice of our incredibly yummy wedding cake -- which is saying a lot because they sliced it VERY small. (Sorry, if you are reading this and were there! I had no idea they would cut it so small!) At the end of the night we went upstairs to our suite and were greeted by a bottle of (not-so-great) champagne and a plate of quite possibly the most delicious chocolate-covered strawberries I've ever had in my life. Seriously, I don't know what the hell they did to them (although I think part of it was that they used dark chocolate instead of milk) but it was like sugary delicious crack. But again, the excitement of the evening overruled everything else and even sugary crack couldn't keep my attention.
The next morning, after a quick breakfast in the hotel's restaurant, we gathered our stuff and after a couple of pit stops at the nearest Best Buy and our apartment, we were on our way to Baltimore for our first cruise. Derek and I had already decided that we didn't really want to be burdened with counting every Point+/calorie, or just in general stressing over what we were eating while we were on our honeymoon, in part because we had absolutely no idea what to expect our options to be. This turned out to be a wise decision because breakfast and lunch were served buffet-style, which meant not only was it readily available in whatever quantity we wanted it, but it was buffet-style food -- large quantities of...well... crap. Some of it was pretty okay but we stuck with a couple of standbys -- the "Grill" section that had hamburgers, french fries, chicken tenders, etc., and the pizza counter and ice cream machines that were open and available 24/7. Dinners in the ship's dining room/restaurant were much better. There were a few dinners that I didn't particularly care for, but still managed to not go to bed hungry (of course -- hunger is impossible on a cruise ship, I've learned). Somehow, though, throughout the whole trip, I managed to learn the art of realizing when I was no longer hungry and not eating anymore once I got that signal. It worked out pretty well, I think. Between the cruddy cafeteria food and learning to say "no", I think this contributed to why I ended up seeing a loss.
However, in my opinion, the biggest contributor to my "success" while on the ship was not a welcome contributor by any means. On Tuesday (note: the beginning of our trip), as we were eating lunch -- a hamburger and fries for me -- I realized it felt like there was something stuck between my back two molars on my left side. Upon further investigation with my tongue, I realized that my tooth had chipped! I rushed Derek back up to the room so I could check it out and sure enough, I pulled a piece of my own damn tooth out of my mouth! The tooth that chipped had been a little chipped prior and I hadn't had any problems, so despite freaking out that my tooth broke, I was hoping that it wouldn't cause any real issues. It didn't take long, though, to realize this would not be the case this time, as the remainder of my tooth was now sharp and though the tooth itself didn't hurt, it was rubbing against my tongue anytime I did, well, anything, and created a sore the size of a pencil eraser that was excruciating and made just about everything cry-worthy. Despite being on my honeymoon and being ridiculously happy to be married to the man I love, this really put a damper on my week, as not only was eating akin to torture, but so was everything else: spitting out toothpaste after brushing my teeth, kissing Derek, drinking anything (with or without a straw), talking... you name it. At one point I had a complete breakdown when Derek and I went to get a mid-afternoon snack and Derek had finished three slices of pizza and I was still struggling with one. I spent the rest of the week carefully chewing and swallowing on only one side of my mouth (not an easy feat, if you must know), and picking soft food that didn't need to be chewed or manipulated much. After that Tuesday afternoon, food lost most of its allure and my meal size went from average/slightly above average to "Is that really all you're going to eat?" Not. Fun. However, this probably made some difference when it came to seeing the number on the scale go down.
Thankfully, on Tuesday after we got back (after a full week of dealing with the torture), I found a dentist (no, I didn't already have one. Shhh!) and made appointments for both Derek and I for this coming weekend, April 6th. The woman I spoke to suggested that we stop by in advance to pick up the new patient paperwork (since they're actually located in the apartment building I live in -- there are medical suites on the ground floor), and since I had mentioned my poor broken tooth and my even poorer sore tongue, she said that they could smooth it down for me so I didn't have to suffer until our actual appointment! Woohoo! So, on Wednesday after work, Derek and I stopped by to get all the forms, and literally about a minute later, my tooth's jagged edge had been smoothed down! It was easier to eat almost right away, and a few days later the sore on my tongue had healed and now it's almost like nothing happened!
Anyway, we got home last Sunday and have pretty much eaten out all week. We didn't have time (or desire) to go grocery shopping and had little to nothing in the house. This... this in and of itself makes me go WTF to a 1.7 pound loss, but thankfully the useful skill of being done with my food before I feel like I need to be rolled away from the table like Violet in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory has helped a bit.
This Saturday (as in two days ago), after our weigh-ins, we went grocery shopping for the first time in probably a month. We planned out our dinners for the week and are officially back on the wagon. I'm officially off of soda again, but much more confident about it this time than last time because I know that I can do it and I know how much better I feel when I do (though I'm not looking forward to potential withdrawal headaches). We packed lunches today and will continue to do so throughout the week. And, now that the weather is getting nicer, we're looking forward to getting outside and getting our butts moving (although for the foreseeable future it looks like our butts will just be moving from our apartment to the laundry room and back. Oy.).
Stay tuned! :)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)