One of the things I'm kind of trying to brace myself for is all of the freedom that comes with being on a [slightly] less restrictive food plan. I was praising the fact that there are a lot more resources for Paleo recipes yesterday, but it's a little overwhelming. There is a lot more we can do, and that's a little scary, actually. It means that we can be more creative, which is awesome, but I have this nagging fear of falling off track since there's no clear-cut right or wrong. I mean, obviously, some things are definite 'no's no matter whose idea of the plan you look at, like processed junk or sugar or whatever, but I worry that without the defined "yes to this, no to that" guidelines we've had, we're more likely to slip. Or make exceptions for things. I mean, hell, I saw one explanation of Paleo that allows rice! Granted, they say it should only be used rarely, and that was definitely an outlier among all Paleo descriptions I've read, but how do we know we're doing the right one?
I was also really excited about being able to bake again -- being creative with baking is something I actually really enjoy, so despite the fact that some of the ingredients used to "paleoify" things are kind of offbeat, I am looking forward to testing them out. But... some of the recipes I am seeing are really, really decadent. Can I really eat this stuff? Part of me is doing a little jig inside because it means that I can still treat myself once in a while and stay on plan; the other part of me is flipping out that this just seems too good to be true.
I guess the only real way to go about this is treat it as trial and error. Just as I would with baking with new, "weird" ingredients, I'm sure we're going to find things that don't really work out. Our progress may stall, we may realize we need to tighten the reins a bit, and hopefully we'll be strong enough to move forward. That's a hard lesson for me to learn, though. I've quit every other program/plan/diet I've tried when it showed signs that it wasn't working. I can't let and don't want this to happen again.
Honestly, I think it's going to come down to to Tuesday. Tuesday is our first day off-plan, and it'll be the day we weigh ourselves for the first time in a month. I know that the premise of Whole30 is that it's not supposed to be about the number on the scale, but let's face it -- my number is a pretty high number and a lot of my physical and mental success rides on that number getting lower. If the scale shows that Whole30 has really worked for me, and that I have finally found something to defeat the PCOS demons and the emotional eating demons and the lazy habits demons, I think I'll be more likely to stick to it, or at least a very reasonable facsimile. But if I come out of this not losing as much as I would have hoped (or, worse, nothing at all), it's going to take a LOT of willpower and a LOT of help for me to keep pushing through it and not throw my hands in the air and give up for good.
Derek and I had been talking about what our weigh-in plans were going to be post-Whole30. We agreed that weighing in once a month is probably best because it'll take some of the emphasis off working towards a number, and place it firmly on just doing the right thing. But part of me wonders if monthly is a bad idea, because we won't have the instant gratification of knowing that what we were doing was working or was not working. Like, if I don't weigh myself again until the end of September, and I don't see much of a loss, how do I pinpoint what it was that went wrong, you know? I think it may be easier to do that if we're looking at it weekly. I dunno. I'm sure Derek and I will talk more about this, and we don't need to decide anytime soon. I want the monthly weigh-ins to be the way we go but I just don't know if I/we can go that long without feedback on ourselves.
Anyway, that's enough rambling for tonight. TWO MORE DAYS! WOOHOO!!
What I Ate:
Breakfast: two sunny-side-up eggs, bacon, watermelon
Lunch: some roast
Dinner: roasted chicken legs (we were going to have other chicken pieces but they were past their "we should eat this" date, lol) and a salad, and a post-dinner snack/dessert of banana with a little almond butter.
How I Feel:
Shitty. I am tired, in pain, and despite sleeping all day, can't wait to get back to bed. I know this isn't Whole30 related though, so I'm still okay. I'm in a good mood, I just don't want to DO anything. Usually this is the day that I feel the worst, so I should be okay tomorrow. If not, a healthy dose of ibuprofen should clear that right up! :D
Did I mention there's only two more days!??!
No comments:
Post a Comment