So, my plan had been to keep this blog solely focused on my weight loss efforts and my attempt to get healthy. I was trying to avoid mixing in the rest of my mostly-boring life. But now, things are commingling and I've gotta get it off my chest.
My wedding. It's in five and a half weeks. 38 days. Holy mother of... and with this quickly-dwindling timeframe comes tons of stress. Stress that I fear is going to set me back a bit on my weight loss goals.
Let's start at the top of the list of things that are stressing me out:
Yesterday, at my second dress fitting, the zipper on my dress broke. BROKE. Luckily, it was a relatively easy fix (my seamstress said that it looked like it just got pulled down too low and then got itself off track -- she swears it's not compromised and will be fine), but I'm still mega paranoid that the day of, when I try to get my dress zipped up, it's going to pop again and I'm going to have to be sewn in. I don't even WANT to know how that works. Or, for that matter, how the hell I'd get out of it later (when I don't have a swarm of bridesmaids regulating that shit).
Then, we realize that while the hemming she did (luckily the only thing that needed to be done on my perfect-fit gown) was perfect when I'm standing straight up...when I walk, I lean forward a little bit, which causes my dress to graze the floor in the front, which causes me to frickin' trip over it. Not a problem during the reception because I can just hold it up -- no biggie, but uh... I can't hold my dress up to walk down the aisle AND hold my bouquet and both my brothers (the latter are going to be hard enough as it is). I have this mental image of taking like three steps, tripping on my dress and either ripping it or falling flat on my face, busting my lip, and bleeding through the ceremony. Oh god, I'm gonna cry. So now, the plan is that I need to find shoes that are slightly higher than the flats I'd planned to wear... well, they don't make flats with like, a 1/2" heel, because then they're not flats. So the next best thing is kitten heels. I CAN'T WALK IN HEELS. I repeat: I CAN'T WALK IN HEELS. So either way, I'm screwed. Omgomgomgomg breeeeeeeeathe.
On top of all this, my poor little ring bearer, who is quite possibly the coolest 7 year old that I've ever known, fell while climbing a tree this past weekend and broke his arm. Like literally, broken, straight through. Had to have surgery to put pins in to set it. Poor kid!! His momma (one of the bridesmaids) told me that he'd be walking down the aisle with a cast on, which of course doesn't bother me at all but now my gears are turning about whether or not he'll be able to get his arm in his tux jacket. Of all things to worry about, Sarah. Really? REALLY. UGH.
Oh, and I can't figure out what is going to be my 'something old'. I don't have any old stuff. WTH. What happens if you don't have all of the old/new/borrowed/blue crap? Is my marriage destined to fail because I was only 75% compliant? Ack.
Aside from that, there's just the regular stress that comes with being such a short period of time away from the biggest, most important, most amazing day of my life. And the inherent panic attack that comes when you are me and you can't help but think, rethink, overthink, and think again about everything.
AND... as if this wasn't all enough... my face is breaking out again. Bad. A while back... probably about a year or so ago, my cheeks started breaking out. I've never ever ever had acne problems... it was the one thing I had going for me. My teeth are crooked and I'm fat and I wear glasses, but at least I had clear skin, right? Nope. Here I am in my late 20s buying every acne treatment product that CVS has to offer... to no avail. It finally started to go away (though I was still left with red marks on my face), but now it's coming back. Of course. I hope like hell that the angel that is doing my makeup for the wedding has experience in miracle working. WHYYYYYYYY?
So. Why do I bring this up here, in my get-healthy blog? Because when I get stressed out, I eat. Saturday and Sunday were a wreck (mostly Sunday because of Super Bowl food -- hate to see what it would've been like if I hadn't made 'skinny' recipes!)... Monday, we woke up too late to make lunch so we had to buy, which I haven't done in a while. I got Subway, which wasn't bad, but I got chips (baked, at least), which I never do. We still have Christmas candy in the house and I'd been doing a stellar job of ignoring its existence, but so far this week I keep picking at it. Stupid little almond Hershey kisses are going to ruin my life!
I need a break. I need to be done. I need to be married and not be planning a wedding anymore. I'm just starting to get in the groove of losing weight consistently. I can't afford to screw that up now! :(
How do you all de-stress without turning to food?
Our ring bearer had hand surgery and had to wear a full arm cast down the aisle too! He had no problems fitting into his jacket. We put velcro on his cast and on the bottom of the ring pillow so he looked like a little waiter with a tray, ha ha!
ReplyDeleteI definitely got to the point that you are at, where you are like "no more planning! I just want to be married already!" I enjoy reading your blog.
I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who's experienced this. Thanks Hadyn! :) The velcro thing is a good idea!
DeleteWell, first of all, gather up all the candy you can find and throw it in the trash, and then throw that down the trash chute or in the dumpster, or whatever you do with your trash. Get it out of the house. It's a problem for you right now, so just avoid it. As for the rest of the stuff - when you feel like you're losing it, take 10 deep breaths, in through your nose (puff your belly out) and out through your mouth ("deflate" your belly). It is what it is. If the ring bearer can't wear his jacket, he doesn't wear one. Your zipper will be fine, but if you have to be sewn in, that'll be part of the fun of your wedding night! Trust me, Derek will find a way in, without the help of the bridesmaids. :) As for the length - your seamstress will know what to do. Or, practice walking with your boobs pushed out (i.e. your back straight up and down). As for your breakouts - it's probably part and parcel to the Metformin, not to mention, didn't you say you were cycling this week? I imagine that has a little something to do with it. Just make sure your face is washed and moisturized (winter will dry out your skin, which will produce oil to rehydrate itself, which will cause zits, lather rinse repeat....) twice a day. You might be like me - allergic to benzoyl peroxide - which is what's leaving those red marks. Stop messing with your face and just keep it washed and moisturized. You will be fine and it will be a beautiful, "character-filled" day.
ReplyDeleteDerek may not like me very much for dumping the candy, but it probably should be done, you're right. My face is making me crazy. Today it's less breakout-y and more dry and red, which makes me want to punch things. I have the Clinique three-step acne ...stuff, but I'm horrible about using it regularly. I'll fix that. Messing with my face will also be a challenge... I can't help but pick at it... it's a nervous habit. Oy!
DeleteThanks for the wise words, Aubrey. I almost feel better, lol. :)